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  1. #1
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    Default Please help me make these paragraphs better.

    The Himalaya
    Concealed in a citadel of ice known as third pole, accessed through beautifully cut narrow gorges drained in torrents and enclosed by vivid landscape, the Himalaya possess 14 highest peaks on the earth. Hundreds of other lesser known but spectacular peaks lie shoulder to shoulder with these over 8,000 m snow-giants. At the base, plateaus and forests of rhododendron are roved by Himalayan Bear, Mountain Sheep (Marcopolo's Sheep) and the illusive snow leopard. The Himalayas literally meaning the abode of snow, however was long ventured by ascetics. Here Buddhism and Hinduism synthesized with pagan practices are so inherent that even your high-altitude expedition will become an odyssey of history and culture.
    Trekking in the Himalaya
    Trekking is the best way to experience the beauty of the Himalaya. Basically trekking in the Himalaya is walking through fields and villages, along valleys and streams or up mountain slopes of the Himalaya with a local guide. The trekker carries a personal pack with camera, day clothing and snacks while their other equipments are supplied to everyday camp by porters. Accommodation and meals will be either arranged in family run teahouses or in portable tents carried by porters. Established routes of Annapurna, Everest and Langtang could be trekked by staying in decent family run teahouses and are known as ‘Teahouse Treks’. ‘Camping Treks’ on the other hand retain their own cooks, Sirdar (foreman) and porters and group camp in tents to move off the beaten trail’.

    Nepal Himalaya

  2. #2
    smithy928 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please help me make these paragraphs better.

    The best advice anyone can give is the old saying: "keep it simple, silly".
    Put away the thesaurus and use simpler words, if every word has so many syllables it's distracting and sounds awkward read out loud. It seems as though you're trying too hard!

  3. #3
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Please help me make these paragraphs better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nepal_Himalaya View Post
    The Himalaya
    Concealed in a citadel of ice known as third pole, omit accessed Reached through beautifully cut omit narrow gorges drained in torrents and enclosed by vivid landscape and magnificent scenery, the Himalaya possess contains 14 of the highest mountains on Earth as well as hundreds of other lesser known but still spectacular peaks. lie shoulder to shoulder with these over 8,000 m snow-giants.omit At the base of the Himalaya, the forests of rhododendron are roved by contain Himalayan bears, mountain sheep (Marco Polo's sheep) and the illusive elusive snow leopard. Himalaya literally means the abode of snow. however was long ventured by ascetics. omit In its remote regions, Buddhism and Hinduism synthesized with pagan practices, are so inherent that even omit so that your high-altitude expedition will become an odyssey of history and culture.

    Trekking in the Himalaya
    Trekking is the best way to experience the beauty of the Himalaya. Basically trekking in the Himalaya is walking through fields and villages, along valleys and streams or up mountain slopes of the Himalaya omit with a local guide. Each day, the trekker carries a personal pack with camera, day clothing and snacks while their other equipments are supplied to everyday camp luggage is transported to the camps by porters. Accommodation and meals will be either arranged in family-run teahouses or in portable tents carried by the porters. Treks on established routes to Annapurna, Mount Everest and Langtang stay in decent familyrun such teahouses and are known as ‘Teahouse Treks’. ‘Camping Treks’ on the other hand retain their own cooks, Sirdar (foreman) and porters, and group camp in tents to move off the beaten trail’.by staying in tents can move off the beaten track.

    Nepal Himalaya
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