Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,891
    Post Thanks / Like

    Smile I Love The Simpsons

    Hello! Could someone please proofread my essay? Any comments or suggestions are highly appreciated!
    Cheers!
    *****

    I Love The Simpsons


    I am fascinated by The Simpsons, American cartoon TV series. I love every member in the American family of the Simpsons. There are no rigid and unsavory moral teachings or hackneyed storylines something like a handsome prince finally married with a beautiful princess. I have a lot of fun and learn love and American culture through it. Even many scenarios look so familiar as if they just had happened on me, my friends or my neighbors not far ago.

    Homer Simpson was the father. He was not rich, not capable, not handsome-- just a very little hair, and had shortcomings as well. However he was a lovely daddy, who always had fun with his mischievous son—Bart, they played video games together, even made fun on the roof dangerously. How wonderful the dad was! Many Chinese parents always preach at their kids and expect their own kids to go one better but they forget to laugh with kids.

    Marge Simpson was the affectionate mother. She wore a towering beehive of hairdo. Well, I was quite impressed by one of her lines –There’re always some times in your life, you will say I am with you. Yes, she did it. Her husband was not rich but she always firmly stayed with him without whines or complaints. I learn how to love from Mrs. Simpson.

    When come to Bart, oh Bart, the brat, he was the soul of the cartoon series. He was so mischievous, rolling on skating board, cheating in exams, quarrelling with his sister Margie, even sawing off the head of the statue who was the founder of Springfield. He was always a big headache of his family and school. Aha, but as Homer Simpson said if a boy isn’t naughty, he can’t be a boy any more. I do believe it. It's Bart who made the cartoon so lively and colourful.

    No matter, how the Simpsons fought or quarreled with each other, they always united together as a family and faced up the music whenever they run into any difficulties.

    We’re living in a world in which undeclared aggression, war, hypocrisy, chicanery, bombing, killing, murdering are part of our daily live. Now and then, some hypercritic big shots of politicians really dampen me with their scandals, from ex US President Bill Clinton, former New York Governor Elliot Splitz, to the vice president wannabe Senator John Edwards’ extramarital affair, which is the headline story of today’s news in CNN.

    The adorable family of the Simpsons let me forget the ugliness in the real life and keep an up-beat spirits. It presents a lovely, loyal, optimistic ordinary American family life before my eyes. The Simpsons drives clouds away over me and makes me beam.


    .
    Last edited by thedaffodils; 09-Aug-2008 at 06:11.

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,130
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Love The Simpsons

    I Love The Simpsons

    (paras 1 & 2)
    I am fascinated by The Simpsons, the American cartoon TV series. I love every member in the American family of the Simpsons. There (are) is no rigid and (unsavory, any better adjective?) moral teachings or hackneyed storylines (something) like those of a handsome prince who finally married with a beautiful princess (and they lived happily ever after). I have a lot of fun watching the shows and come to learn about love and American culture (through)from it. Even many scenarios look so familiar and real as if they just had happened (on)to me, my friends or my neighbors(any of us) not (far) long ago.

    Homer Simpson was the father. He was not rich, not exceptionally capable, not handsome (-)- just (a very little hair) a little bald, and had shortcomings as well. However he was a lovely daddy(,) who always had fun with his mischievious son(—),Bart(,). They played video games together(,) and even (made fun on the roof dangerously) were engaged in some antics on the roof. How wonderful the dad was! (What a wonderful dad he was!). I realise that (Many) Chinese parents (always) tend to preach (at) to their kids and expect their own kids to (go one better) emulate them but they forget to spend time to play and laugh with (kids) them.

    Marge Simpson was the affectionate mother. She wore a towering beehive of a hairdo. Well, I was quite impressed by one of her lines –There’s always some times in your life, you will say I am with you. Yes, she did it (?). Her husband was not rich but she always (firmly stayed with) stand by him without (whines or complaints) whining or complaining. I learn how to love from Mrs. Simpson.

    not a teacher

  3. #3
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,891
    Post Thanks / Like

    Smile Re: I Love The Simpsons

    Hello Tedtmc, thanks a bunch!

    Have a good weekend!

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Love The Simpsons

    Quote Originally Posted by thedaffodils View Post
    Hello! Could someone please proofread my essay? Any comments or suggestions are highly appreciated!
    Cheers!
    *****

    I Love The Simpsons


    I am fascinated by The Simpsons, the American cartoon TV series. I love every member in the American family [omit]of the Simpsons. There are no rigid and unsavory moral teachings or hackneyed storylines, like like a handsome prince finally married with a beautiful princess. I have a lot of fun and learn love and American culture through it. Even many scenarios look so familiar as if they just had happened to me, my friends or my neighbors not long ago.

    Homer Simpson is the father. He was not rich, not capable, not handsome-- just a very little hair [omit], and had shortcomings as well. However he is a lovely daddy, who always has fun with his mischievous son—Bart. They play video games together, even made fun on the roof dangerously. How wonderful the dad is! Many Chinese parents always preach at their kids and expect their own kids to go one better but they forget to laugh with kids.

    Marge Simpson is the affectionate mother. She has a towering beehive of blue hair. Well, I was quite impressed by one of her lines –There’re always some times in your life you will say I am with you. Yes, she did it. Her husband was not rich but she always firmly stays with him without whines or complaints. I learn how to love from Mrs. Simpson.

    When come to Bart, oh Bart, the brat, he is the soul of the cartoon series. He was so mischievous, always on his skateboard, cheating in exams, quarrelling with his sister Maggie, even sawing off the head of the statue of the founder of Springfield. He is always a big headache of his family and school. Aha, but as Homer Simpson said: if a boy isn’t naughty, he can’t be a boy any more. I do believe it. It's Bart who makes the cartoon so lively and colourful.

    No matter how the Simpsons fight or quarrel with each other, they are always united together [omit] as a family and face the music whenever they run into any difficulties.

    We’re living in a world in which undeclared aggression, war, hypocrisy, chicanery, bombing, killing, murdering are part of our daily lives. Now and then, some hypocritical big shots of politicians really dampen me with their scandals, from ex US President Bill Clinton, former New York Governor Elliot Splitz, to the vice president wannabe Senator John Edwards’s extramarital affair, which is the headline story of today’s news in CNN.

    The adorable family of the Simpsons let me forget the ugliness in the real life and keep an up-beat spirit. It presents a lovely, loyal, optimistic ordinary American family life before my eyes. The Simpsons drives clouds away over me and makes me beam.


    .
    .

  5. #5
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,891
    Post Thanks / Like

    Smile Re: I Love The Simpsons

    Hello Anglika,

    Thank you very much for the corrections.

    Actually I used present tense in my draft at first, but I switched it about the Simpsons to past tense finally, because I remembered I was told if I narrate a story, it would be better to use past tense. It was too bad that I painted the lily.

    Could you please suggest about the tense when it is applied in a story?

    Thanks in advance!

  6. #6
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,130
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Love The Simpsons

    daffodils
    You can also use the past tense but the present tense would make the narrative more vivid.
    Upbeat is one word, btw.

  7. #7
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,891
    Post Thanks / Like

    Smile Re: I Love The Simpsons

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    daffodils
    You can also use the past tense but the present tense would make the narrative more vivid.
    Upbeat is one word, btw.
    Hello Tedtmc:

    Thank you for your comment. I'm going to sleep. Good night!

  8. #8
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Love The Simpsons

    Since you are talking about a cartoon series that is still running, the past tense is in fact incorrect. The situations are all in the present.

    This kind of essay is not quite the same as writing a fictional narrative - you have to consider whether the subject is something existing now or then. If you had been describing a single episode, then you could and probably would use the past, but with an overall view of the series the present is applicable.

    nb "gilding the lily".

  9. #9
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,891
    Post Thanks / Like

    Smile Re: I Love The Simpsons

    Anglika, thank you for your illustration. I see.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •