My family

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Devil's tear

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Oct 9, 2007
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Hi dear teachers. I wrote this small paragraph about my family. Could you check it please?

I'm living in a well-tied family. I've got four brothers and six sisters. I'm the oldest one. I usually spend part of my precious time with them because I'm busy learning English and other foreign languages. we are so close, we are cheek by jowl, especielly my brother Mohammad, I find my brother Mohammad a family man although he is pretty young to hold the fort. I have a very good relationship with my mother, she always helps me when I need her. My room is my universe, I love when I clean it up and when I invite my close friends in.
 

RonBee

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United States
Re: My family (a short paragraph)

Perhaps:
Mine is a close-knit family. There are eleven in my family. I am the eldest. I don't get to spend much time with my family because I am busy learning English and other foreign languages.

:)
 

dodonaomik

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Jun 29, 2008
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Interested in Language
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Chinese
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China
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China
we are so close, we are cheek by jowl?, especielly my brother Mohammad, I find my brother Mohammad a family man although he is pretty young to hold the fort( hold a family?). I have a very good relationship with my mother, she always helps me when I need her. My room is my universe, I love (it?) when I clean it up and when I invite my close friends in( After cleaning it up, I will invite my friends in?).
:oops::oops::oops:
 

Devil's tear

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2007
Member Type
Student or Learner
Tnaks a bunch. It's really helpful. My teacher loved it so much.
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hi dear teachers. I wrote this small paragraph about my family. Could you check it please?
Say short paragraph.




we are so close, we are cheek by jowl, especielly my brother Mohammad, I find my brother Mohammad a family man although he is pretty young to hold the fort. I have a very good relationship with my mother, she always helps me when I need her. My room is my universe, I love when I clean it up and when I invite my close friends in.

We are a close family, and I am especially close to my brother Mohammad. Mohammad is a family man although he is pretty young to be the head of a household. I have a very good relationship with my mother. She always helps me when I need her. My room is my universe. I love it when I clean it up and have my friends over.
:-D
 
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