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  1. #1
    Clark is offline Key Member
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    Default A Promissory Note

    Could you, please, edit the following text? Thanks in advance.

    A Promissory Note


    When Aesop was at the court of the Tsar of Egypt as an ambassador of Babylon, he was asked a riddle, “Can you name anything we have neither seen, nor heard of?” Aesop realised that whatever he might say they would reply that they had already seen it or heard of it, and he thought up a trick. He wrote a fake overdue promissory note saying that the Tsar of Egypt had borrowed 1,000 talants in gold from the Tsar of Lebanon. On the next day, Aesop had an audience at the court and showed that note to the Tsar’s councillors. The councillors didn’t even take the trouble to look at it and shouted, “ We’ve seen it”. “Very good”, said Aesop, “now when you’ve confirmed the authenticity of this promissory note, I expect the amount due to be paid to my Tsar”. The Tsar of Egypt protested that he had never seen that document before, and so did the councillors. That was exactly what Aesop wanted them to say, “You’ve just admitted that what you are holding in your hands is something you’ve never seen, nor heard of.” That was how Aesop outwitted the Tsar of Egypt.

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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Quote Originally Posted by Clark View Post
    Could you, please, edit the following text? Thanks in advance.
    Would you please edit the following text?

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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Say:
    Can you name anything we have neither seen nor heard of?

    You’ve just admitted that what you are holding in your hands is something you’ve neither seen nor heard of.

  4. #4
    Clark is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Only two corrections.

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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    When Aesop was at the

    court of the Tsar of Egypt : we talk about 'court' when referring to English royal history but I'm not sure we would use this about Egypt at the time of the pharaohs - nor was he referred to as a Tzar (as in Russia)

    in the palace of the Pharaoh, as an ambassador of Babylon, he was asked a riddle: “Can you name anything we have neither seen, nor heard of?” Aesop realised that whatever he might say they would reply that they had already seen it or heard of it; and so he thought up a trick.

    He wrote a fake overdue promissory note, saying that the Pharaoh of Egypt had borrowed 1,000 talants in gold from the King of Lebanon. The next day, Aesop had an audience at the court and showed the note to the

    King's councillors. : I'm not sure they would be referred to as 'councillors'. Pharaohs were gods, and autocrats, so I'm not sure they even had 'advisors'.

    The councillors didn’t even take the trouble to look at it and shouted, “ We’ve seen it”. “Very good”, said Aesop, “now when you’ve confirmed the authenticity of this promissory note, I expect the amount due to be paid to

    my King”. you mean the King of Babylon, not the King of Lebanon?


    The Pharaoh protested that he had never seen the document before, and so did the councillors. That was exactly what Aesop wanted them to say. “You’ve just admitted that what you are holding in your hands is something you’ve never seen, nor heard of”, he responded. That was how Aesop outwitted the Pharaoh of Egypt.
    Last edited by David L.; 15-Aug-2008 at 09:37.

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    Clark is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Thank you very much, David, for your corrections. I agree the word "tzar" is out of the question here. Russian thinking. As for "court" and "councillors", I've seen them used in a number of contexts dealing with pharaohs.

    Would it be OK to start like "When Aesop was at the court of Nectanebo, Pharaoh of Egypt, as an ambassador of Babylon, he was asked a riddle: ...?

    The King of Babylon, not Lebanon, of course.

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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Would it be OK to start like

    "When Aesop was at the court of Nectanebo, Pharaoh of Egypt, as an ambassador of Babylon, he was asked a riddle: ...?

    The use of 'an' is correct if Aesop is a person accredited by the King of Bablyon to act as some kind of official representative but not (and it is unlikely, that he was acting in the modern day equivalent of Ambassador), who is the head person at an overseas embassy - that means, he is just 'one person', not 'one of several'.

    The problem is, I'm not sure of his role as 'ambassador'; so I am uncertain whether he is 'for Babylon' or 'from Babylon'. Your choices are:
    'an ambassador from Babylon' or 'ambassador for Babylon' if his post is specific and official.
    Last edited by David L.; 15-Aug-2008 at 14:22.

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    Clark is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Aesop was sent to Egypt by Lycurgus, King of Babylon, with a special mission. Should it be then "as ambassador for Babylon"?

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    Default Re: A Promissory Note

    Ah! Special mission.

    The word you need is, 'as an emissary from Babylon' or 'as an emissary of the King of Babylon'

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