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  1. #1
    kate_chan Guest

    Default please help me to correct my cover letter and resume

    Room301 No.21 Lane1800
    Don fang Road
    Shanghai 200127

    16 October 2004
    Personnel manager of BNP Paribas (China) Ltd.
    13/F., North Tower, Shanghai Stock Exchange Bldg.,528, Pu Dong Rd.(S)
    Shanghai 200120.P.R.C.


    Dear Personnel Manager

    Application for position of Assistant Officer

    Im interested in the position of assistant officer of BNP Paribas (China) Ltd. advertised in the www.zhaopin.com.

    I think that it is a challenge job for me to be an assistant officer in such a good international bank. A position with your bank would give me a chance to touch with different people and deal with different problems relevant with bank management. It must be interesting and challenge.

    I feel I am well qualified for this position. I have good inter-personal skill and communication skill. I also have basic knowledge to bank products and services. I can speak fluent Mandarin and English, and I can prepare official letters both in Chinese and English. Moreover, I am a hard-working and friendly person. Id like to deal with different problems. A resume enclosed giving details of my educations, other stills and other trainings. If I got the job, it would be my first full-time job. I will do my best to do it well.

    I would be happy to attend an interview to give you more information of me. I can be contacted on 13162504369.

    Yours sincerely


    Kate Chan



    KATE CHAN
    Room 301 No.21 Lane 1800 Don Fang Road
    Shanghai 200127
    Mobile phone: 13162504369
    E-mail: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

    Objective
    Seeking an assistant officer position in BNP Paribas (China) Ltd

    Summary of Qualifications
     Office2000 proficiency.
     Excellent English with a proficiency of listening, speaking, reading and writing.
     Certificate of Intermediate Interpretation (ATLA/ATII), Dec 2002.
     Certificate of State Spoken English Test (SET)-level B, Nov 2002.
     Certificate of State College English Test-Band 6 (CET-6), June 2002.
     Good at writing official letters and reports both in English and Chinese.

    Education
    Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC), Shanghai University Shanghai, China
    Post-Diploma of Shanghai University in International Economic and Trade. June 2005. GPA 3.3
    Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC), Shanghai University Shanghai, China
    Diploma of Shanghai University in International Trade. Certificate IV of Insearch in English. June 2003. GPA 3.2. Scholarship of second prize in 2000-2001 semester, 2001-2002 semester and 2003-2004 semester.

    Work Experience
    Weyerhaeuser China Shanghai, China
    Worked in hardwood division as intern. Aided in selling and marketing woods. Processed some import and export invoices. Word processing and sending E-mails. Summer, 2002.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: please help me to correct my cover letter and resume

    Welcome

    Resume and Cover Letter Examples: click here, and here, and here.

    All the best, :D

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    advertised in the www.zhaopin.com.

    I'd use 'on' and I wouldn't use the article.

    http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8468

  4. #4
    kate_chan Guest

    Default

    thank you for giving me help with my cover letter and resume, it is very useful

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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    I think that it is a challenge job

    Shouldn't that be 'challenging'. Also,consider changing 'I think'. I wouldn't use the phrase in a letter like this as it sounds unsure.

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