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  1. #1
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    Default Urgent: a small story

    I wrote this small story, I feel that it's so funny but I wrote it to improve my writing skills.


    When I was a child, I used to visit my neighbor's home every weekend. They had a boy who is in the same age of me. I was always frightened of boys, it's kind of a problem I had. Someday at the weekend, I was playing with him some computer games and I won the game. He got mad and he slapped me on the face. I felt scared but I couldn't do anything, I just hold my tears. Because I know if I told his mother, he will beat me more. Suddenly, his mother came to the room and she saw my tears shedding, she asked me: why are you crying girl?. I didn't know what will I have to say. But I started complaining of her son and I told her about what he did. But she didn't do anything and she sat on the fence. The only thing which she did is calming my nerves. And when she went outside the room, well I don't remember, I just remember that that crazy boy jumped over me and he started pulling my hair, which made me run away and stopped visiting their home any more. I should admit, till now, I still don't believe these guys and I can't stopped thinking about bad things about them.

  2. #2
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Smile Re: Urgent: a small story

    When I was a child, I used to visit my neighbor's home [omit] every weekend. They had a boy who is in [at ]the same age of [with] me. I was always frightened of boys, and it's kind of a problem I had. One of the weekend day, I was playing some computer games with him, and I won the game[omit]. He got mad, and he[ omit] slapped me on the face. I felt scared but I[omit] couldn't do anything,[. period] I just hold my tears [but you told us his mother saw you crying] [Because [because ]I know[knew] if I told his mother, he will [would ]beat me more. Suddenly, his mother came into the room. she[ She] saw my tears shedding, she asked me:[,]" why [Why] are you crying, girl"? I didn't know what will [remove] I have[had] to say. But I started complaining of her son and I told her about what he did. But she didn't do anything and she[remove] sat on the fence. The only thing which she did is [was] calming my nerves [to clam me down]. And when she went outside the room [went out], well I don't remember [omit], I just remember that that crazy boy jumped over me and he [omit] started pulling my hair hard. [I ]me run away and stopped visiting [never visited] their home any more. I should admit, till now, I still don't believe these guys and I can't stopped thinking about bad things about them.

    PS: I'm not a teacher.

  3. #3
    thedaffodils's Avatar
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    Smile Re: Urgent: a small story

    When I was a child, I used to visit my neighbor's every weekend. They had a boy who was at the same age with me. I was always frightened of boys, and it's kind of a problem I had. One weekend, I was playing some computer games with him, and I won. He got mad, and slapped me on the face. I felt scared but couldn't do anything. I just cried sliently because I knew if I told his mother, he would beat me more. Suddenly, his mother came in. She saw my tears running, and asked me, " Why are you crying, girl"? I didn't know what I should say. But I started complaining of her son and I told her about all what he did. But she didn't do anything and sat on the fence. The only thing which she did was let me feel better. And when she stepped out the room, that crazy boy jumped over me and started pulling my hair hard. I run away and never visited their home any more. I should admit, till now, I still don't believe these guys and I can't stopped thinking about bad things about them.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Urgent: a small story

    Thank you so much thedaffodils. But I think there are some mistakes. Are you sure about it?

  5. #5
    thedaffodils's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urgent: a small story

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's tear View Post
    Thank you so much thedaffodils. But I think there are some mistakes. Are you sure about it?


    Just a try.

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