I have written my cover letter, but feel that the second paragraph (which shows my interest in the position and explains qualifications) might be a bit unclear and too complex. Can you please give me some feedback on how it sounds and what can I do to make it read more smoothly, while still getting my point across?
Thank you and here is the paragraph:
While working towards a BS Degree in Business Administration, I was employed in technical support industry, which gave me an opportunity to develop IT and problem solving skills in practice. My primary major is Management Science, a field of operations research that studies analytical decision making process and methods in business. This field has taught me applied and quantitative skills that can be used in the Business Analyst position you have described. My secondary major in Corporate Finance greatly enhances my primary major because finance is a major component of analysis used in business. I have a strong academic background with the applied skills needed to analyze and solve practical business problems. I look forward to showing you how I could apply them to your software industry needs.
- For Teachers