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Thread: edit my essay

  1. #1
    bosaltan1 is offline Newbie
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    Smile edit my essay

    As we now ,everyday we were hearing about a new technology and it can change our life to become easy .Also this technology made alot of useful things for people such as radio, internet and TV . TV is most important in our life .In addition, there are many advantage and disadvantage to watch TV.
    First of all, when we watch TV we know what are happing around th world in same moment.for example, when we are staying at home and turn on TV then we will see many cannel has alot of program such music,documentary,entertainment,history,etc.Furthe rmore, TV made our life easy to watch and to heard in same moment.however, there are also negative useless. If we spend along time in front of TV maybe we are going to lose our eyes, becaues TV has serious X-ray.

    To sum up I think TV good to see the world in same moment,but we should monitor ourselves how to use TV to became beneficial.

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: edit my essay

    Welcome to the forums.

    Quote Originally Posted by bosaltan1 View Post
    As we now ,e know, everyday we were [Why the past tense?] hearing about a new technology and it that can change our life to become easy make it easier. Also this[omit] technology made [Why the past tense?] a lot of useful things for people such as radio, internet and TV. TV is most very important in our life .In lives. In addition, there are many advantages and disadvantages to watch in watching TV.

    First of all, when we watch TV we know what are is happing around th world in same moment.At that moment. For example, when we are staying at home and turn on the TV, then we will see many cannel has alot of program channels with many different programmes, such as music, documentary, entertainment, history, etc. Furthermore, TV hasmade our life easy to watch and to heard in same moment [Not at all clear what you mean] .However, there are also negative useless aspects. If we spend a long time in front of the TV maybe we are going to lose our eyes sight, becaues TV has serious X-ray.[This is misinformation. Modern televisions certainly do not have x-rays. Check your source. As to the disadvantages, you should look at the social consequences]

    To sum up, I think TV helps us to see the world but we should monitor ourselves so that our use of TV is beneficial.
    Punctuation: the punctuation mark must immediately follow the word, with a space following the mark.

    nb It is politer to say Please edit my essay.

  3. #3
    bosaltan1 is offline Newbie
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    Smile Re: edit my essay

    I am very very sorry
    this the first time to this forums
    thanks you very much

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: edit my essay

    You're welcome.

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