This is an IELTS second type essay. I would like you to check it please and check if my ideas are relevant or off-topic?
thanks in advance.
QuestionIn many parts of the world, the environment has suffered considerable damage. Do you think it is important to protect the environment?Essay:Regarding its important, talking about environment has recently become the world issue; this is reasonable is most cases as the following points will explain.To begin with, one of the most significant direct consequences which we are responsible of by not taking care of our environment is global warming. Moreover, this later is becoming a source of real inquietude for our lives of earth. For instance, in places which are near the hole of ozone, the number of people being attacked by the cancer of skin is likely to increase. This is indeed a very frustrating fact that human beings come to know which urges us to consider serious protection to the environment by various means such as the use of clean energy in order to reduce such damage.Furthermore, pollution as being one of the essential reasons to global warming has also a direct effect on our health. The polluted air we breath can be a good example to point out how much we most of people in the world are suffering from serious illnesses related to it. Hence, it is very clear that if we want to protect our lives and to reduce such increasing damages we have to protect our environment first and this can be by increasing the number of green spaces all around us.However, it could be argued that there are other equally important issues, such as finding the solution for the world's unending conflicts which are causing the death of billions of innocent people. In addition, the problem of poverty which despite how much developed and modern world we are living in, is still a serious unsolved problem.In few words, although there are many important issues which we are all concerned with, the protection of our environment must be very considerable since the damages related to it are very serious.
The Prtection of the Environment - The PROTECTION of the environment
I doubly you made this mistake deliberately, just wanted to point out :)