Your writing isnít too bad.
I prefer teaching an algebra class at a high school level. I know I could excel at that level of teaching because math is my best subject and algebra is the sub-subject that I succeeded the most in.
If youíre going to teach any sorts of maths, logic is important. Can you see a logical error in the above?
my whole, entire life. One of these words is redundant.
an travel team
I played that up until my freshman year but ended up stopping because our high school doesnít have a hockey team. Otherwise, I would have kept playing.
Last sentence is redundant.
I made a short stint in JV golf my freshman year but I wasnít able to attend the tryouts my sophomore year so I didnít play. Redundant.