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Thread: step not taken

  1. #1
    kimosu is offline Newbie
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    Default step not taken

    Hello
    Can you please tell me the grammatical errors and other mistakes in this essay

    “The Step Not Taken”
    Being ignorant is probably the worst curse a person can have. That is what once possessed me. This particular story of me is when I lived happily and cared about nothing but my own petty world.
    I was oblivious to a man who was residing in my neighbourhood. He was old, homeless, and lived in the park. He had a curly grey beard, tattered clothes and a very bony frame on which there was nothing except skin. Nobody cared about him or felt sympathy for him.
    I passed him on the sidewalk one day. He was awake and shivering, even though it was summer. His eyes looked dead. Subconsciously, I knew that he was too weak to do anything. I knew that he was suffering. I knew that he needed help. Yet I didn’t worry or even care.
    While I was walking a week later, I noticed a crowd gathered around the man’s spot. I went to see what happened and found out. The man died of starvation.
    I felt a jolt in my stomach. An unknown, powerful force was drawing me deep into the ground, making me feel lower than ever.
    As I forced myself to walk home, images of the corpse kept flashing in my mind. I wasn’t able to think straight. The people, the world around me, nothing existed. Everything was hazy except for the clear picture of the dead man imprinted into my head. A wave of nausea slowly swept over me accompanied by guilt that seemed to feed on my conscience like acid on limestone. My eyes brimmed with tears, burning my cheeks. Every drop felt heavy and served as a reminder that I was the reason the man died. I could have asked that man what was wrong or called a hospital. However, that barricade of selfishness prevented me.
    This should be a lesson to those who couldn’t care less about anything other than themselves. This should be a lesson to ignorant people, like I once was who truly do not understand the importance of humanity. I wish and hope that something like this will never happen again.

  2. #2
    sarat_106 is offline Key Member
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    Exclamation Re: step not taken

    “The Step Not Taken”
    Being ignorant is probably the worst curse a person can have. That is what once possessed me. This particular story of mine (me) is of when I was living happily and caring about none (nothing) but my own petty world.
    I was oblivious to a man who was residing in my neighborhood. He was old, homeless, and lived in the park. He had a curly grey beard, tattered clothes and a very bony frame of body on which there was nothing except skin. Nobody cared about him nor had (felt) sympathy for him.
    I passed him on the sidewalk one day. He was awake and shivering, even though it was summer. His eyes looked dead. Subconsciously, I knew that he was too weak to do anything. I knew that he was suffering. I knew that he needed help. Yet I didn’t worry nor even care.
    While I was walking a week later, I noticed a crowd gathered around the man’s spot. I went to see what had happened and found out. The man had died of starvation.
    I felt a jolt in my stomach. An unknown, powerful force was drawing me deep into the ground, making me feel lower than ever.
    As I forced myself to walk home, images of the corpse had kept flashing in my mind. I wasn’t able to think straight. The people, the world around me appeared non-existent. (nothing existed.) Everything was hazy except (for) the clear picture of the dead man which was imprinted into my head. A wave of nausea slowly swept over me accompanied by a guilt that seemed to feed (on) my conscience like acid on limestone. My eyes brimmed with tears andburning of my cheeks. Every drop felt like heavy and (served as) a reminder that I was the reason for the death of the man (died). I could have asked that man what was the wrong or taken him to (called) a hospital. However, the (that) barricade of selfishness prevented me.
    This should be a lesson to those who couldn’t care less about anything other than themselves. This should be a lesson to ignorant people, like I once was who truly do not understand the importance of humanity. I wish and hope that something like this will never happen to me again.

    Delete words in brackets.
    Last edited by sarat_106; 27-Sep-2008 at 09:50.

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