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  1. #1
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    Default Proofreading: Essay about financial goals in life. Thank you!

    Hello,

    so here is my second essay for today. Im looking forward to your comments.

    Thanks a lot!

    " Looking at financial goals, most people can be divided into two main groups. Some follow the aim to earn as much money they can, while others just want to have enough money to provide a normal life.
    Having a lot of money can simplify a lot of things. A big bankroll gives the owner a kind of security against tragic happenings. At every time you or a family member could have an accident or get a serious disease. In these cases having lots of money sometimes can ease the solution or even solve the problem.
    Even tough, I prefer to earn just enough to live a normal life rather than to work to hard. In the following I will support my opinion with three arguments.
    First, you wont become happy just because you earn a lot. The most important things in life cannot be bought by money. People who ignore that and work to hard in order to achieve personal happiness with friendships and love will fail in my opinion. Personally I know a woman who just worked on her career and became aware lately, that she is too old now to get the children she ever wanted.
    Secondly, having money alwalys leads to an unnerving tension and responsibility. You always struggle to protect your savings from taxes and inflation, which could take lots of time.
    Which leads to my final point, that you wont have that time because you need to work a lot. Workalohics earn much money, but at the price of working up to fourteen hours a day.
    Concluding, I prefer to work less and enjoy my life, since I think your are not supposed to live to work, but to work to live."

  2. #2
    Roselin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Proofreading: Essay about financial goals in life. Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by SimonUnthan View Post
    Hello,

    so here is my second essay for today. Im looking forward to your comments.

    Thanks a lot!

    " Looking at financial goals, most people can be divided into two main groups. Some follow the aim to earn as much money they can, while others just want to have enough money to provide a normal life.
    Having a lot of money can simplify a lot of things. A big bankroll gives the owner a kind of security against tragic happenings. At every time you or a family member could have an accident or get a serious disease. In these cases having lots of money sometimes can ease the solution or even solve the problem.
    Even tough, I prefer to earn just enough to live a normal life rather than to work to hard. In the following I will support my opinion with three arguments.
    First, you wont become happy just because you earn a lot. The most important things in life cannot be bought by money. People who ignore that and work to hard in order to achieve personal happiness with friendships and love will fail in my opinion. Personally I know a woman who just worked on her career and became aware lately, that she is too old now to get the children she ever wanted.
    Secondly, having money alwalys leads to an unnerving tension and responsibility. You always struggle to protect your savings from taxes and inflation, which could take lots of time.
    Which leads to my final point, that you wont have that time because you need to work a lot. Workalohics earn much money, but at the price of working up to fourteen hours a day.
    Concluding, I prefer to work less and enjoy my life, since I think your are not supposed to live to work, but to work to live."
    Nice essay! I can't proofread it to u but " work to hard" doesn't make any sense. May be you want to say TOO HARD. rather than working too hard.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Proofreading: Essay about financial goals in life. Thank you!

    Thank you for your comment! I would appreciate it, if you could read my other essay too ("stream jets")

  4. #4
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: Proofreading: Essay about financial goals in life. Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by SimonUnthan View Post
    Hello,

    so here is my second essay for today. Im looking forward to your comments.

    Thanks a lot!

    " Looking at financial goals, most people can be divided into two main groups. Some follow the aim to earn as much money they can, while others just want to have enough money to provide a normal life.
    Having a lot of money can simplify a lot of things. A big bankroll gives the owner a kind of security against tragic happenings. At every any time you or a family member could have an accident or get a serious disease. In these cases having lots of money sometimes can ease the solution or even solve the problem.
    Even tough, [?] I prefer to earn just enough to live a normal life rather than to work too hard. In the following I will support my opinion with three arguments.
    First, you wont become happy just because you earn a lot. The most important things in life cannot be bought by with money. People who ignore that and work too hard in order to achieve personal happiness with friendships and love will fail, in my opinion. Personally I know a woman who just worked on her career and became aware lately that she is too old now to get have the children she ever always wanted.
    Secondly, having money always leads to an unnerving tension and responsibility. You always struggle to protect your savings from taxes and inflation, which could take lots of time.
    Which This leads to my final point: that you wont have that time because you need to work a lot. Workaholics earn much money, but at the price of working up to fourteen hours a day.
    Concluding, I prefer to work less and enjoy my life, since I think you are not supposed to live to work, but to work to live."
    R.

  5. #5
    Roselin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Proofreading: Essay about financial goals in life. Thank you!

    [quote=Raymott;363045]R.[/quote
    Some follow the aim to earn as much money as they can, while others just want to have enough money to provide a normal life.

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