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  1. #1
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    Proofreading: How to raise a child

    Hello!

    Thanks for all the comments on my last Essays.
    So here is the next one. Its based on a passage and a lecture about strategies to raise a child.
    I´m not very satisfied because the topic seems to be not appropiate for me

    "How should people raise their children to gain discipline? In the passage three different strategies were presented and the professor expresses his opinion about them.
    According to the professor people should not use their power to influence a childs behaviour. As said in the passage, these authority related strategies are physical punishment and withhold of affection. The professor refuses these strategies, since children can feel unworthy of love and may therefore become aggressive persons.
    As the professor puts it, contrary to most parent’s manners, children should be supported for good behaviour instead of beeing punished for bad events. As explained in the passage, these reinforcements were based on age appropriate rules.
    The professor supports his opinion by citing some experts which state that only consequent rules, wich were based on logical explanations lead to an appropriate socialization of the child. In the professors view, reinforcement of good behavior should be the common strategy when raising a child."

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Proofreading: How to raise a child

    Quote Originally Posted by SimonUnthan View Post
    Hello!

    Thanks for all the comments on my last Essays.
    So here is the next one. Its based on a passage and a lecture about strategies to raise a child.
    I´m not very satisfied because the topic seems to be not appropiate for me

    "How should people raise their children to gain while maintaining discipline? In the passage three different strategies were presented and the professor expresses his opinion about them.

    According to the professor, people should not use their power to influence a child's behaviour. As said described in the passage, these omit authority-related strategies are physical punishment and withholding affection. The professor refuses rejects these strategies, since children can feel unworthy of love and may therefore become aggressive persons.

    As the professor puts it, contrary to most parent’s manners parents' methods, children should be supported for good behaviour instead of being punished for bad events. As explained in the passage, these reinforcements were based on age appropriate rules.

    The professor supports his opinion by citing some experts which who state that only consequent rulesthe rules that are of consequence, which were based on logical explanations, lead to an appropriate socialization of the child. In the professor's view, reinforcement of good behavior should be the common strategy when raising a child."
    ..

  3. #3
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    Re: Proofreading: How to raise a child

    Thanks for you help Anglika!

    Sometimes when I read you replies I am wondering wether if you correct some passages because another structure/word would be more appropriate, or if they are actually wrong.

    I mean, is it unusual or wrong to say "The professor refuses" insted of "rejects". There is the same question on "parent’s manners parents' methods"

    See, I don´t want to criticise your methods, but my test will be on Saturday and therefore I would like to diminish really wrong use of vocabulary.

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Proofreading: How to raise a child

    I correct to what I regard as the right use/word - but in the end it is for you to decide. Check out the meanings in the dictionaries.

    Parents I took to mean parents in general, so the plural possessive was required.

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