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  1. SunMoon's Avatar

    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 197
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    #1

    Question To be considered without exceptions... Please, a request of proofreading.

    I am answering a recruiter and I would like to ask you a proofreading of my answer before to send out it.

    His email:

    Hi xxxxx,

    Thank you for your application for the position of IT Business Analyst, however as discussed this position has now been filled.

    The same client has vacancies for an Operations Business Analyst (Salary €55-60K) and an Operations Business Analyst Manager (€70-80K).

    They are both full time permanent position with our Client who is based in Manchester. I have attached both job specifications for your information. Please read through both of these and let me know if you would be interested in applying for either of these positions. I must mention that the client does not like to receive multiple applications from the same candidate so please bear this in mind when looking at the job specifications and apply for the one you feel is most suited to your skill set.


    Kind Regards



    My answer:


    Dear xxxx

    Thank you for your e-mail.

    I saw both job descriptions and I found the opportunity really enticing. Even though I have all the skills and experience for applying to the Manager one, I would like to be considered for this opportunity without exceptions. So, I prefer to apply for the Operational Business Analyst where I am sure I might be the right candidate for your client.

    I attached a new CV where I highlighted my relevant experience in Business Analysis.

    I can confirm that I am able to relocate easily and quickly, and available for travelling.

    I look forward to hearing from you very soon.

    Yours sincerely

    What do you reckon?


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,448
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    #2

    Re: To be considered without exceptions... Please, a request of proofreading.

    Quote Originally Posted by SunMoon View Post
    I am answering a recruiter and I would like to ask you a proofreading of my answer before to send out it.

    His email:

    Hi xxxxx,

    Thank you for your application for the position of IT Business Analyst, however as discussed this position has now been filled.

    The same client has vacancies for an Operations Business Analyst (Salary €55-60K) and an Operations Business Analyst Manager (€70-80K).

    They are both full time permanent position with our Client who is based in Manchester. I have attached both job specifications for your information. Please read through both of these and let me know if you would be interested in applying for either of these positions. I must mention that the client does not like to receive multiple applications from the same candidate so please bear this in mind when looking at the job specifications and apply for the one you feel is most suited to your skill set.

    Kind Regards



    My answer:


    Dear xxxx

    Thank you for your e-mail.

    I saw both job descriptions and I found the opportunities really enticing. Even though I have all the skills and experience for applying to to apply for the Manager one position, I would like to be considered for this opportunity without exceptions I am not quite clear what you intend by this. Can you expand?. So I would prefer to apply for the Operational Business Analyst position where I am sure I might be the right candidate for your client.

    I attached attach a new CV where I have highlighted my relevant experience in Business Analysis.

    I can confirm that I am able to relocate easily and quickly, and am available for travelling.

    I look forward to hearing from you very soon.

    Yours sincerely

    What do you reckon?
    Minor changes, and one query.

  2. SunMoon's Avatar

    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 197
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    #3

    Smile Re: To be considered without exceptions... Please, a request of proofreading.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    I would like to be considered for this opportunity without exceptions I am not quite clear what you intend by this. Can you expand?
    Both positions are inside the same recruiter's client and I want keen to succeed in this application for working for this employer. So applying for the Manager position I am afraid that some exceptions could be found by the client such as it is my first experience in its sector. In other hands if I apply for the simple one I think that client is not able to find exceptions on my experience and professional profile.

    I hope been clear enough.

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