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  1. #1
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Hi,

    I would like to apply for a postgraduate programme.
    Any advice on the following my personal statement of motivation ?

    Thanks for your help.

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as this is my first step
    to pursue the Master of Management in Information Technology.

    With over 10 years of experience dealing with technical aspect of IT, and now as a Technical Manager, I do feel
    a need to see the context from other side. Having two certifications, PMP and CSM ( Certified Scrum Master ),
    indeed help me a that purpose. But yet, this is still not enough. Having an MMIT will definitely increase confidence
    in my abilities to think "out of box", as well as to bolster my career progression.

    There are many specific reasons why I want to pursue the MMIT at [xyz]. I've compared the MMIT subjects from various university.
    To name the few, the academic reputation, the availability of an extensive range of courses, and the online courses, perfectly suit my
    interests.

    I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this programme. I would be grateful if my application for this programme is considered and accepted.

    Yours faithfully,
    *** ***

  2. #2
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as (remove 'this is') my first step in pursuing the Master of Management in Information Technology.

    With over 10 years of experience dealing with technical aspect of IT, and now as a Technical Manager, I do feel a need to see the context from other side. Having two certifications, PMP and CSM ( Certified Scrum Master ), indeed helps (removed 'me in that purpose'). I believe that this is still not enough. Having an MMIT will definitely improve my abilities to think "out of box", as well as (remove 'to') bolster my career progression.

    There are many specific reasons why I want to pursue the MMIT at [xyz]. I've compared the MMIT subjects from various university. To name the few, the academic reputation, the availability of an extensive range of courses, and the online courses, perfectly suit my interests.(I think you should not name any colleges, but just say that your course structure and curriculum and subjects match my goals)

    I am confident that I am qualified and will give my 100% in this programme. I would be grateful if my application for this programme is considered and accepted.

    Yours faithfully,
    *** ***
    You should include a little more information about yourself. It's a little short.

  3. #3
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Thanks ski_power for your suggestions.

    I have reworked the statement into :

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as my first step
    in pursuing the Master of Management in Information Technology.

    My educational history was not really complete. After attended only 3 months at [XXX], one of the elite university in [ZZZ],
    I received a scholarship from a French NGO to pursue my university study in France. After taking the French course
    and various part-time job to practise it, I went to the University of [YYY]. Unfortunately, the scholarship did not
    cover until the end of the program, so my familly needed to cover the cost. Before the end of the program, we had a very
    difficult situation which lead me to leave the university to get a job. I was really sad of the situation, we could not do anything.
    But, I always keep in my mind, that this is not the end of the world. Someday, I had to get a degree. This was a debt that I had to
    reimburse.

    My first job was as Software Developer. This was where I put into practise what I learned from university, such as algorithme, programming
    technic, database, code optimisation, design, architecture, etc. When I confronted with some technical issues, I consulted to books,
    articles, and various forums. Apart technical issues, I was challenged by human factor as well, horizontally and vertically,
    how to share my knowledge for the benefit of the team. Over the years, I sharpened these best practises, and my career progressed.
    Although the progression of my career, somehow deep inside my mind, I was followed by a thought that I still don't have a degree.
    So I took various training courses that may increase my technical skills, more beneficial for the company I worked for. I had more
    technical responsibilities, as well as team responsibilities.

    I was hired by a software house company in [DDD] as a Technical Manager. I was not only involved in the software engineering aspect,
    but as well the team development management and company related business aspects. After 10 months of self-study, I'm now a PMP Certified.
    That certification helped me a lot in dealing with quality, risk, time, human resources managements. As I keep sharpening my skills
    on management, I came across the Agile Software Process Managements. One of those is Scrum, which I took the training in [LLL].
    By having two certifications, PMP and CSM ( Certified Scrum Master ), I become more useful to my company and be able to assume
    positions of greater responsibilities.

    Despite those two certifications, I still have a feeling toward a debt that I had to reimburse, I am thirst for additional
    business knowledge. I like a challenge, and I want to learn more on how to use technology to solve business problems, how to manage
    technology solutions, how to harness the talent in others, and how to think and lead strategically.
    A Master degree will greatly increase my overall marketability, and a pay-off of my debt.

    There are many specific reasons why I want to pursue the MMIT at [xyz].
    The academic reputation, the availability of an extensive range of courses, and the online courses that is flexible in helping me
    balance professional goals, work pressure, and family responsibilities.

    I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this programme. I would be grateful if my application for this programme is considered and accepted.

    Yours faithfully,
    *** ***


    Any more suggestions ? Thanks.

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Anyone please ? Thanks

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    OK, how about this :


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as my first step
    in pursuing the Master of Management in Information Technology.

    My educational history was not really complete. I attended only 3 months at [***], one of the elite university in [ZZZ], because I received a scholarship from a French NGO to pursue my university study in France. After taking the French course and various part-time job to practise it, I went to the University of [YYY]. Unfortunately, the scholarship did not cover until the end of the program, so my familly needed to cover the cost. Before the end of the program, we had a very difficult situation which lead me to leave the university to get a job. I was really sad of the situation, we could not do anything.
    But, I always keep in my mind, that this is not the end of the world. Someday, I had to get a degree. This was a debt that I had to reimburse.

    My first job was as a Software Developer. This was where I put into practise what I learned from university, such as algorithm, programming technique, database, code optimisation, design, architecture, etc. When I confronted with some technical issues, I consulted to books, articles, and various forums on the internet. Apart technical issues, I was challenged by human factor as well, horizontally and vertically, how to share my knowledge for the benefit of the team. Over the years, I sharpened these best practises, and my career progressed. Despite the progression of my career, somehow deep inside my mind, I was followed by a thought that I still don't have a degree. So I took various training courses that may increase my technical skills, more beneficial for the company I worked for.

    I was hired by a software house company in [DDD] as a Technical Manager. I was not only involved in the software engineering aspect, but as well the team development management and company related business aspects. With over 10 years of experience dealing with technical aspect of IT, I do feel a need to see the context from non-technical side. PMP was an option at that time. After 10 months of self-study, I'm now a PMP Certified. That certification helped me a lot in dealing with various aspects managements. As I keep sharpening my skills on management, I came across the Agile Software Process Managements. One of those is Scrum, which I took the training in [LLL]. By having two certifications, PMP and CSM ( Certified ScrumMaster ), I become more useful to my company and be able to assume positions of greater responsibilities.

    Despite those two certifications, I still have a feeling toward a debt that I had to reimburse, I am thirst for additional business knowledge. I like a challenge, and I want to learn more on how to use technology to solve business problems, how to manage technology solutions, how to harness the talent in others, and how to think and lead strategically. A Master degree will greatly increase my overall marketability, and a pay-off to my debt.

    There are many specific reasons why I want to pursue the MMIT at [xyz]. The academic reputation, the availability of an extensive range of courses, and the online courses that is flexible in helping me
    balance professional goals, work pressure, and family responsibilities.

    I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this programme. I would be grateful if my application for this programme is considered and accepted.

    Yours faithfully,
    *** ***

    Any more suggestions ? Thanks.

  6. #6
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    I appreciate anyone who could help me out. Thanks.

  7. #7
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Quote Originally Posted by buset07 View Post
    OK, how about this :


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as my first step in pursuing the Master of Management in Information Technology.

    My educational history was not really complete. I attended only 3 months at [***], one of the elite universities in [ZZZ], because I received a scholarship from a French NGO to pursue my university study in France. After taking the French course and various part-time jobs to practise it, I went to the University of [YYY]. Unfortunately, the scholarship did not cover until the end of the program, so my familly needed to cover the cost. Before the end of the program, we had a very difficult situation which led me to leave the university to get a job. I was really sad about the situation, but could not do anything else. However, I always kept in mind that this is not the end of the world. Someday, I would get a degree.

    My first job was as a Software Developer. This was where I put into practise what I learned from university, such as algorithm, programming technique, database, code optimisation, design, architecture, etc. When I confronted with some technical issues, I consulted books, articles, and various forums on the internet. Apart from technical issues, I was challenged by the human factor as well, and how to share my knowledge for the benefit of the team. Over the years, I sharpened these best practices, and my career progressed. Despite this, somehow deep inside my mind, I was bothered by the thought that I still did not have a degree. So I took various training courses that increased my technical skills, more beneficial for the company I worked for.

    I was hired by a software house company in [DDD] as a Technical Manager. I was not only involved in the software engineering aspect, but also on team development management and company related business aspects. With over 10 years of experience dealing with technical aspect of IT, I do feel a need to see the context from non-technical side. PMP was an option at that time. After 10 months of self-study, I'm now PMP Certified. That certification helped me a lot in dealing with various aspects of management. As I keep sharpening my skills on management, I came across the Agile Software Process Managements. One of those is Scrum, which I took the training in [LLL]. By having two certifications, PMP and CSM ( Certified ScrumMaster ), I became more useful to my company and be able to assume positions of greater responsibilities.

    Despite those two certifications, I still have thirst for additional business knowledge. I like a challenge, and I want to learn more about how to use technology to solve business problems, how to manage technology solutions, how to harness the talent in others, and how to think and lead strategically. A Master's degree will greatly increase my overall marketability.

    There are many specific reasons why I want to pursue the MMIT at [xyz]. Its academic reputation, the availability of an extensive range of courses, and the online courses that are flexible in helping me balance professional goals, work pressure, and family responsibilities.

    I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this programme. I would be grateful if my application for this programme is considered and accepted.

    Yours faithfully,
    *** ***

    Any more suggestions ? Thanks.
    I have deleted your references to "debt" - it really reads better without them.

  8. #8
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Thanks a lot Anglika.
    I would like to put something which refers to 'debt', to emphasize why I want to get that degree.
    Any thought ?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: Need advice for my Personal Statement of Motivation

    Anyone can tell me how to put a sentence which refers to 'debt' ? Thanks.

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