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  1. #1
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Default [Fable] Crow Brothers

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    Hello! This is my practice. This is based on a Chinese fable. Could someone please proofread this story for me? Many thanks!

    Crow Brothers

    Once upon a time, two crow brothers lived in a cozy nest on a high tree. One day, there appeared small hole in their nest.

    The elder crow thought, “My younger brother would fix it up.”

    The younger crow thought, “My elder brother would fix it up.”

    However, neither of them went to patch it. And the hole became bigger and bigger.

    The elder crow told to himself, “My younger brother would deal with it. How could he live in such a shabby house?”

    The younger crow told to himself too, “My elder brother would deal with it. How could he live in such a shabby house?”

    Again, they both folded their arms, waiting and watching.

    There came the biting winter. Heavy snow was falling and it was windy. The crow brothers crouched in their rickety nest, shivering, “Alas, cooold, cold…”

    The elder crow supposed, “It is too cold to bear. No doubt, he would repair our house this time .”

    The younger crow supposed, “It is too cold to bear. No doubt, he would repair our house this time.”

    They both did nothing but curled up their own plumage tighter respectively.

    The snow was pommelling their nest and the wind was roaring. Finally the nest was blown from the three to the ground. And the two crow brothers were frozen to death.
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  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: [Fable] Crow Brothers

    Quote Originally Posted by thedaffodils View Post
    .
    .
    Hello! This is my practice. This is based on a Chinese fable. Could someone please proofread this story for me? Many thanks!

    Crow Brothers

    Once upon a time, two crow brothers lived in a cozy nest on a high tree. One day, there appeared small hole a small hole appeared in their nest.

    The elder crow thought, “My younger brother would will fix it up.”

    The younger crow thought, “My elder brother would will fix it up.”

    However, neither of them went to patch it. And the hole became bigger and bigger.

    The elder crow told said to himself, “My younger brother would will deal with it. How could he live in such a shabby house?”

    The younger crow also said to himself, “My elder brother would will deal with it. How could he live in such a shabby house?”

    Again, they both folded their arms wings, waiting and watching.

    There came the biting winter. Heavy snow was falling and it was windy. The crow brothers crouched in their rickety nest, shivering, “Alas, cooold, cold…”

    The elder crow supposed, “It is too cold to bear. No doubt, he would will repair our house this time now.”

    The younger crow supposed, “It is too cold to bear. No doubt, he would will repair our house this time now.”

    They both did nothing but curled up their own plumage tighter respectively. and each curled up with his plumage puffed out.

    The snow was pommelling their nest and the wind was roaring. Finally the nest was blown from the tree to the ground. And the two crow brothers were frozen to death.
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    However, "pummelling" would be the more usual spelling.


    ..

  3. #3
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Smile Re: [Fable] Crow Brothers

    Hello Anglika,

    It is very kind of you to take time to read the story and correct my mistakes one by one. Thank you so much!

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