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  1. #1
    nyggus is offline Key Member
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    Question A cover letter: too many of me

    Are there any particular techniques to avoid too many sentences including "I" and "my" and such constructions? I am writing a cover letter for a job application, and it seems so bad when there are too many such sentences. I have tried to use as many right- and left-handed sentences as possible, but too many of these do not look well either. Any other ideas? The I- and my-sentences are natural when I am writing about my education and experiences, but basically if the letter is full of them, it reads so bad.

    I'd be obliged for any ideas,
    Nyggus

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: A cover letter: too many of me

    The denigrated passive is very useful in these circumstances.

  3. #3
    nyggus is offline Key Member
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    Question Re: A cover letter: too many of me

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    The denigrated passive is very useful in these circumstances.
    Thank you, Anglika.

    What do you actually mean by the 'denigrated passive'? 'Denigrated' has pejorative meaning so I can't emplace it anywhere with the passive voice in cover letters. Could you please provide me with any simple examples? For instance, use the fragment of my cover letter:

    "In 2004 I was appointed a senior researcher in the University of the South Moon. I had various responsibilities, including looking into starts, singing songs to them, and listening to their feedback. I was successful in several instances, receiving great appreciation. In 2006 I changed my job, and was appointed the King of Mars. All the time I had to write official letters to other Star Kings, of whom I met none. Trying to keep my astronomic knowledge up-to-date, I also read books for children, books that offered a lot of interesting knowledge on various topics."

    Thanks a lot,
    Nyggus

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: A cover letter: too many of me

    How's this?

    Quote Originally Posted by nyggus View Post
    "In 2004 I was appointed a senior researcher in the University of the South Moon. I had various responsibilities, Responsibilities/ the job's responsibilities included looking at the stars, singing songs to them, and listening to their feedback. I was successful in several instances, receiving great appreciation. In 2006 I changed my job I was appointed the King of Mars. All the time I had to write official letters This position necessitated writing letters to other Star Kings, of whom I met none none being personally known to me. Reading books intended for children, books that offered a lot of interesting knowledge on various topics, contributed to keeping my astronomic knowledge up-to-date."

    Thanks a lot,
    Nyggus

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