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  1. #1
    zhangruidan Guest

    Talking a new English learner's review, need someone check the grammar

    Hiiiii, everyone, I am a new English learner from China, and I wrote a review of some stuff. And hope someone could check the grammar mistakes for me. Just grammar mistakes. But if u have other ideas of it, Go ahead, write down it, and I will feel thankful. Here is the whole piece, just 3 hundred words, not too long. Thanksssssss.
    My email is EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
    and hope can receive ur kindly reply.





    In this week’s readings, I feel more interesting of Buthalia Uvashi’s “Beginning”, which explores the idea of Borders are created and sustained not only by force, but also by history and memory. In this introduction, the author is standing in an empathetic and humanistic position to look at the question of partition. And I think it also not just the voice from the partition of India, but the shift of all colonial areas.
    In facts when an area was colonized by conquer; it was not only changing the notions of territory, dominion or more external aspects, but also deeply changing the memory of people. And how deeply it changed depend on how many land the colonizers were conquer. And then a new notion of nationhood and border and frontier were created inevitably.
    In the first question of “How have frontiers and borders been related to colonialism”, it is clearly that British colonizer divided India into two separate countries by their colonial process. When the British introduced their crucial colonial rules to the Hindus, drew the line of division, then created Pakistan, colonialism not only a kind of external aggressive instrumentality, but also follow by its historical meaning.
    And for the second question, Buthalia Uvashi clearly explores that borders and frontiers are created by force and sustained by mythologies and by memory. And the evident to prove this idea I think, is the continues of enforce the boarder between India and Pakistan, or Hindu and Muslim, after the British colonial process. The new generation, obviously, is hard to touch, or stand in the situation of colonialism. The only way to show them a clear, comprehensive view of the past is memory. And this memory I think, sometimes followed by prejudice misapprehension and inevitably. Along with the movement of time, pass through generation and generation, these prejudice and misapprehension is likely to be fade from people’s mind, but it is more like the conception pf borders and frontiers will be sustained, deeply rooted to the newer generations.
    Buthalia Uvashi states that Partition was not, even in her family, a ‘closed chapter of history’, but that ‘its simple, brutal political geography infused and divided us still.’ (Buthalia 2000 p. 5)
    So, sometimes this situation could be though as “inevitable” and “tragical”, sustained follow by its unfortunate beginning.
    Last edited by zhangruidan; 31-Oct-2004 at 01:20.

  2. #2
    Mister Micawber's Avatar
    Mister Micawber is offline Key Member
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    Re: a new English learner's review, need someone check the grammar

    Hi Zhang,

    Welcome to UE. Your command of English will improve faster if you are always careful when using it, including here in your posting:

    'Hi [avoid extra letters; please spell properly, not in computer-slang], everyone, I am a new English learner from China, and I wrote a review of some material. I hope someone can check the grammar mistakes for me. Just grammar mistakes; but if you have other ideas for it, go ahead, write it down, and I will be thankful. Here is the whole piece, just three hundred words, not too long. Thanks [don't be sloppy; one 's' is correct]. My email is EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
    and I hope I will receive your kindly reply.'

    [I will post corrections here, Zhang, rather than emailing them, so that all can read and learn-- or correct me.]

    'Among this week’s readings, I was interested in Buthalia Uvashi’s “Beginning”, which explores the idea that borders are created and sustained not only by force, but also by history and memory. In this introduction, the author looks with empathy and humanism [these two are somewhat synonymous, and one could easily be deleted at the question of partition; it is not just a voice of the partition of India, but also of the shift of all colonial areas.
    In fact, when an area is colonized by conquest, it not only changes the notions of territory, dominion and other external aspects, but also deeply changes the memories of the people; how deeply it changes depends on how much land the colonizers have conquered. Inevitably, a new notion of nationhood and border and frontier are created.
    In answer to the first question,“How have frontiers and borders been related to colonialism”, it is clear that British colonizers divided India into two separate countries by their process of colonization. When the British introduced severe colonial rules to the Hindus, drew the lines of division, then created Pakistan, colonialism became not only a kind of external aggressive instrumentality, but also a force for historical meaning.
    In answer to the second question, Buthalia Uvashi clearly explores the idea that borders and frontiers are created by force, and are sustained by mythologies and memory. The evidence to prove this idea is the continued enforcement of the border between India and Pakistan, or between Hindu and Muslim, after the British colonial process has ended. The new generation, obviously, finds it hard to imagine themselves in the situation of colonialism. The only way to show them a clear, comprehensive view of the past is through memory, and this memory is sometimes accompanied by prejudice, misapprehension and a sense of inevitability. With the passage of time from generation to generation, this prejudice and misapprehension is likely to fade from people’s minds, but it is more likely that the concept of borders and frontiers will be sustained, deeply rooted in the succeeding generations.
    Buthalia Uvashi states that partition was not, even in her family, a ‘closed chapter of history’, but that ‘its simple, brutal political geography infused and divided us still.’ (Buthalia 2000 p. 5)
    So, sometimes this situation could be thought of as “inevitable” and “tragical”, still sustained from its unfortunate beginning.'

  3. #3
    TheMadBaron Guest

    Re: a new English learner's review, need someone check the grammar

    "feel more interesting of" - am interested in. In context, "will look at" works better.
    "the idea of" - the idea that
    "And" - Strictly speaking, we're not supposed to start sentences with 'And'.
    "In facts" - "In fact"
    "when an area was colonized" - when an area is colonized
    "it was not only changing" - it not only changes
    "also deeply changing" - also changes
    "And how deeply it changed depend" - How deeply it changes depends
    "on how many land the colonizers were conquer" on how many lands the colonizers have conquered (this idea requires further explanation, IMO)
    "a new notion of nationhood and border and frontier were created" - is created
    "British colonizer divided" British colonizers divided
    "colonialism not only a kind of external aggressive instrumentality, but also follow by its historical meaning." Sorry, this just doesn't make sense.
    "explores that" - explores the idea that
    "the evident to prove" - the evidence to prove, or, better, the evidence that proves
    "this idea I think," - this idea, I think,
    "the continues of enforce the boarder" - the continuation of enforcement of the border
    "is hard to touch, or stand in the situation of colonialism" finds it hard to imagine
    "And this memory I think, sometimes followed by prejudice misapprehension and inevitably." - This doesn't make sense.
    "the movement of time, pass through generation and generation" - the passage of time, from generation to generation
    "these prejudice" this prejudice
    "is likely to be fade from people’s mind" - is likely to fade from peoples minds
    "but it is more like" - but it is more likely that
    "deeply rooted to the newer generations" - deeply instilled in
    "could be though as" - could be thought of as
    "tragical" - tragic
    "sustained follow by"

    This is going to take another couple of attempts, Zhangruidan. Don't give up. :)
    Last edited by TheMadBaron; 31-Oct-2004 at 07:31.

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