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    Default Another short paragraph

    Please check this paragraph, thanks for your help

    As you wouldn't expect more from a wrestler in Hollywood, Edison puts on a pathetic acting. His role as a hero is least convincing, with his long histoy of drug use and frequent involvements in crime issues in private life. He is a terrible actor. Every time he is on screen ,you will question the deifinition of actor. In the scence that Edision and Alex are grilled by a FBI, as we get a closeup of the two, Edision made his best attempts to look frightened, but his wooden delivery made him a straight face, which fails to create the nervous atmosphere the scenes intented.
    Maybe the writer admitted he is an awful actor during the filming, he has a much smaller role after the first 20 mins in the film, but that is still a few too many for the worst actor I have ever seen. His saving grace may be his oily and muscular body that some strip show patronizers love to see. In the face of criticism, Edison decided to take a 5-month hiatus in order to polish his acting skills with a famous teacher. But at least from now on, he can do little to shake off his bad acting reputation.

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Another short paragraph

    Quote Originally Posted by redgiant View Post
    Please check this paragraph, thanks for your help

    As you wouldn't expect more from a wrestler in Hollywood, Edison puts on a pathetic acting performance. [More colloquial; also see below] His role as a hero is least not convincing, with his long history of drug use and frequent involvements in crime issues in private life. He is a terrible actor. Every time he is on screen, you will question the definition of an actor. In the scene that where [in which] Edision and Alex are grilled by the FBI, as we get a closeup of the two, Edision made his best attempts to look frightened, but his delivery was made with a straight wooden face, which fails to create the nervous atmosphere the scenes intented.
    Maybe the writer admitted he was an awful actor during the filming: he has a much smaller role after the first 20 minutes in the film, but that is still a few too many for the worst actor I have ever seen. His saving grace may be his oily and muscular body that some strip show patrons izers love to see. In the face of criticism, Edison [has] decided to take a 5-month hiatus in order to polish his acting skills with a famous teacher. But at least from now on despite his future, he can do little to shake off his reputation for bad acting.
    Suggest delete underlined, add blue.

    You don't "put on an acting". You could write "acting performance"
    "least" is a comparative, but you're not comparing him with anyone.
    A lot of the changes I made are suggestions to make it sound more natural, and not necessarily errors. Blue bold are errors.

    R.

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