Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    154
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Please check these two paragraphs

    Hi teachers, I just visited some websites about acne and wrote two short paragraphs by using some new words, Ask for your grammatical checking, especially the usage of "a, an, the" and plural singular things . Thanks for your help.

    While there is a growing acceptance that chocolates do not cause pimple, Acne Study Association has issued a public warning, stressing that Acne-prone people are well-advised to avoid chocolates because of allergy. Otherwise, they are very likely to get break-out. Sometimes, however, this sweet and desirable temptation is difficult to object. If they "incidentally" take a bite, the remedy is trimming their diet to 80% of the standard diet of two days, so that the body system could have less burden of detoxification and focus on removing the toxic from chocolate.

    To avoid getting a bad wrap, some chocolate corporations together held a press meeting and claimed that it is a vicious lie, reassuring consumers that chocolate can not cause acne on its own, instead, their entire diet in general and their genetics. Their argument is underpinned by various researches which show that the fat in chocolate has nothing to do with sebaceous glands, of which the excess production of sebum triggers acne. A spokeman of a chocolate corporation blamed the rumour has been spread by the fruit-and-vegetable industry for years in order to abet public to stay away from chocolate. Also, the corporation will set up a fund for scientitic research to check whether there is a link between eating chocolate and getting acne. However, one thing is always true, "too much of anything isn't a good idea."
    Last edited by redgiant; 04-Nov-2008 at 19:17.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    118
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Please check these two paragraphs

    (not a teacher)

    Red Giant,

    This was well-written overall; I would suggest a few changes as noted below.

    While there is a growing acceptance that chocolate does not cause pimples, the Acne Study Association has issued a public warning, stressing that acne-prone people are well-advised to avoid chocolate because of allergic reactions, which might lead to an outbreak of acne. Sometimes, however, this sweet and desirable temptation is difficult to resist. If a person "incidentally" takes a bite, the remedy is to reduce food intake by 20% over two days, so body detoxification systems would have less of a burden in handling the toxins in chocolate.

    To avoid getting a bad rap, some chocolate manufacturers held a joint press meeting and claimed the above warning is a vicious lie and reassured customers that chocolate by itself cannot cause acne. Instead, they stressed the importance of the general diet and of genetic predisposition to acne. Their argument is underpinned by research that suggests that the fat in chocolate has no effect on the sebaceous glands, in which the excess production of sebum triggers acne. One spokesman for a chocolate manufacturer blamed the fruit and vegetable industry for spreading rumors for years in order to influence people to avoid chocolate. Chocolate corporations intend to fund scientific research to study the link between chocolate consumption and acne. However, one thing is always true: "too much of a good thing is never a good idea."

    Good luck,
    GF
    Last edited by Greg Forbes; 13-Nov-2008 at 05:38. Reason: spelling

Similar Threads

  1. Check
    By Tdol in forum Phrasal Verbs
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 05-Aug-2011, 20:28
  2. [Grammar] check if...
    By Daruma in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 27-Jun-2008, 12:01
  3. personal check...
    By Flyby in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 22-Jun-2008, 17:21
  4. live check to check
    By kpkroy in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Jan-2008, 13:49
  5. Well, we should check out/up on every possibility.
    By angliholic in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 28-Oct-2007, 01:16

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk