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  1. #1
    dige is offline Newbie
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    Default Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    I'm having trouble with this sentence...

    In doing so, she leads up to two distinct possible narrative outcomes for Miss Thoughtless: One where Betsy embodies urbanity through a stubborn challenge to the time periodís social ideals, or one where Betsy exemplifies country life by internalizing Lady Trustyís advice, and entering into a loving marriage with Mr. Trueworth.

    When I read it, it sounds fine but I feel like the colon may not be the proper punctuation. Thanks to anyone who can help out!

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    I would be inclined to use a full stop and make this more than one sentence, starting the second one "One is that ...."

  3. #3
    dige is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    Thank you. That seems much simpler.

  4. #4
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    I would be inclined to use a full stop and make this more than one sentence, starting the second one "One is that ...."
    I agree. But the colon is correct since it's introducing a list, albeit a list of two.
    "In doing so, she leads up to two distinct possible narrative outcomes for Miss Thoughtless: One where Betsy embodies urbanity through a stubborn challenge to the time period’s social ideals; and one where Betsy exemplifies country life by internalizing Lady Trusty’s advice, and entering into a loving marriage with Mr. Trueworth."

    I'd also use a semicolon instead of a comma after ideals, since you've used another comma in the second choice. I'd also use "and" instead of "or".
    There are two possible endings: A and B.

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