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    • Join Date: Nov 2008
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    #1

    Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    I'm having trouble with this sentence...

    In doing so, she leads up to two distinct possible narrative outcomes for Miss Thoughtless: One where Betsy embodies urbanity through a stubborn challenge to the time periodís social ideals, or one where Betsy exemplifies country life by internalizing Lady Trustyís advice, and entering into a loving marriage with Mr. Trueworth.

    When I read it, it sounds fine but I feel like the colon may not be the proper punctuation. Thanks to anyone who can help out!


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
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    #2

    Re: Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    I would be inclined to use a full stop and make this more than one sentence, starting the second one "One is that ...."


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    #3

    Re: Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    Thank you. That seems much simpler.

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    #4

    Re: Proper use of colon? Does this sentence need fixing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    I would be inclined to use a full stop and make this more than one sentence, starting the second one "One is that ...."
    I agree. But the colon is correct since it's introducing a list, albeit a list of two.
    "In doing so, she leads up to two distinct possible narrative outcomes for Miss Thoughtless: One where Betsy embodies urbanity through a stubborn challenge to the time period’s social ideals; and one where Betsy exemplifies country life by internalizing Lady Trusty’s advice, and entering into a loving marriage with Mr. Trueworth."

    I'd also use a semicolon instead of a comma after ideals, since you've used another comma in the second choice. I'd also use "and" instead of "or".
    There are two possible endings: A and B.

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