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    #1

    use of appositives

    Hi,

    Which one of the following sentences sound better and why?

    • All business segments saw revenues improve versus the same quarter last year, with the Travel category posting the highest gain of +8%.

    • All business segments saw revenues improve versus the same quarter last year, with the Travel category posting the highest gain, +8%.
    Thanks,

    MG.


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    #2

    Wink Re: use of appositives

    Quote Originally Posted by musicgold View Post
    Hi,

    Which one of the following sentences sound better and why?

    • All business segments saw revenues improve versus the same quarter last year, with the Travel category posting the highest gain of +8%.

    • All business segments saw revenues improve versus the same quarter last year, with the Travel category posting the highest gain, +8%.
    Thanks,

    MG.
    i'm not sure why,but it sounds better than the other one and it sounded kind of weird saying ....highest gain, +8% it doesn't seem right, so i think the first one is correct

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: use of appositives

    Quote Originally Posted by musicgold View Post
    Hi,

    Which one of the following sentences sound better and why?

    • All business segments saw revenues improve versus the same quarter last year, with the Travel category posting the highest gain of +8%.
    • All business segments saw revenues improve versus the same quarter last year, with the Travel category posting the highest gain, +8%.

    Thanks,

    MG.
    I would change "versus" to "from".
    "the highest gain, of 8%". If it's a gain, it has to be plus, so you can leave that out.

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