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  1. #1
    Roseee Guest

    Can you fix this pleaseeee

    Hey everyone! Can you help me with this! They gave me quations like below:
    Describe your practical work experience that you gained at home, during traning or work. Describe the company. What were your tasks?


    And this my answer!
    Can you fix it please!!!

    There are plenty of work in a village! Originally Iím from village named xxx. My family owned the big garden. And every year this garden was full of all sort of vegetables, fruits. Every summer starts on planting potatoes. My and my brotherís task was take care about everything in our garden during whole summer. And autumn is a time for gather a harvest. In my school years we had practice every summer in schoolís garden. We usually picked berries, fruits, vegetables and look after flowers.
    After school I choose Agriculture University to learn more about agriculture. In university we also had a practice and trainings in this sphere.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Thumbs up Re: Can you fix this pleaseeee

    Quote Originally Posted by Roseee View Post
    Hey everyone! Can you help me with this! They gave me quations like below:
    Describe your practical work experience that you gained at home, during traning or work. Describe the company. What were your tasks?


    And this my answer!
    Can you fix it please!!!

    There are plenty of work in a village! Originally Iím from village named xxx. My family owned the big garden. And every year this garden was full of all sort of vegetables, fruits. Every summer starts on planting potatoes. My and my brotherís task was take care about everything in our garden during whole summer. And autumn is a time for gather a harvest. In my school years we had practice every summer in schoolís garden. We usually picked berries, fruits, vegetables and look after flowers.
    After school I choose Agriculture University to learn more about agriculture. In university we also had a practice and trainings in this sphere.



    There are plenty of work in a village! Originally Iím from village named xxx. My family owned the big garden. And every year this garden was full of all sort of vegetables, fruits. Every summer starts with planting potatoes. My and my brotherís task was (to take)/(taking) care of everything in our garden during the whole summer. And autumn is a time for gathering the harvest. In my school years we had practice every summer at the schoolís garden. We usually picked berries, fruits, vegetables and looked after flowers.
    After school I chose the Agriculture University to learn more about agriculture. At university we also had [zero article] practice and trainings in this sphere

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5,425
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    Re: Can you fix this pleaseeee

    Quote Originally Posted by mkss View Post
    There are plenty of work in a village! Originally I’m from village named xxx. My family owned the big garden. And every year this garden was full of all sort of vegetables, fruits. Every summer starts with planting potatoes. My and my brother’s task was (to take)/(taking) care of everything in our garden during the whole summer. And autumn is a time for gathering the harvest. In my school years we had practice every summer at the school’s garden. We usually picked berries, fruits, vegetables and looked after flowers.
    After school I chose the Agriculture University to learn more about agriculture. At university we also had [zero article] practice and trainings in this sphere


    There is plenty of work in a village! Originally, I’m from a village called xxx. My family owned a big garden, and every year this garden was full of all sorts of vegetables and fruits. Every summer would start with planting potatoes; and my brother and I had the task of taking care of everything in our garden throughout the summer. Autumn was the time for gathering the harvest. In my school years, we had practice every summer in the school’s garden, where we usually picked berries, fruits, vegetables and looked after the flowers.
    After school*** I chose to go to the Agriculture University to learn more about agriculture.

    *** 'after school' means when the school finished for the day, at 3 p.m. or such. You mean, 'when I finished my schooling there' or 'when I left this school'

    At university, we also had training and practice in this sphere. (Logically, the 'training' would come before the 'practice'.)

    The words 'in this sphere' are redundant, The sentence before says that you are attending an 'Agricultural University to learn more about agriculture', which is saying the obvious. Better to combine these two sentences:

    When I left school, I chose to go to the Agricultural University, where we had training and practice in all aspects of agriculture.

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