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Thread: please help me

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default please help me

    hi

    how are you ?


    i have my friend's paraghraph coz my teacher asked us to correct paraghraph
    and we have to give it for her 2morrow
    she said kook for:
    1- is the paraghraph has main idea and topic sentence
    2- and supported details
    3- conclouted sentence
    this is her outline and paraghraph : please don'h ignor it

    outline:
    1-hardworking is good property.
    2-my sister loves hardworking very much.
    3-she is doing hard working everyday.
    4-sometimes,she is woking volanteer in her job.
    5-sometimes hardworking need a little help.
    6-if my sister needed the helping in her work.
    7-i must give her the help.
    8-i think the hardworking need a patience to do the good job.

    paraghraph:

    hardworking is good property. my sister loves hardworking very much . she is doing hardworking everyday. sometimes she is working volanteer in her job .hardworking somtimes needs a little help. for example, if my sister needed the helping in her work , i must give her the help. i think , the hardworking need a patience to do the good job.


    thanks.....

  2. #2
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    Default Re: please help me

    please heeeeeeelp meeee

  3. #3
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: please help me

    Hi Reemaa,

    I am neither a teacher of English nor a native speaker.

    Please don't make your writing in Internet chatting style, which is completely unacceptable in serious formal writing including your assignment. Here are some points:

    1. The first word of each sentence should be capitalised.

    2. The word of "I" should always be capitalised.

    3.
    hardworking is good property.
    Correct: Hardworking is an asset.

    Asset: 1 [C] a useful or valuable quality, skill or person:

    4.
    she is doing hardworking everyday
    .


    Comment: If a person does something everyday, you should use present tense rather than present continous tense.

    5 The word of patience is an uncountable noun, so you should delete "a" before "patience".

    6.
    if my sister needed [ needs] the helping in her work , i must give her the help.
    Correct: If my sister needs my help, I will give her a hand.

    7. The spelling of "2morrow" doesn't look cool in formal writing at all. It can be considered as a solecism.

    Hope this hopes.
    Last edited by thedaffodils; 26-Nov-2008 at 15:24.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: please help me

    thanks

  5. #5
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    Default Re: please help me

    thedaffodils
    Thank you very much darling
    i got benfits from your comment for Reemaa
    thanks alot ..

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