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  1. #1
    handson is offline Newbie
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    I like to know if anyone will be willing to read this essay and corret my grammar? I am sure there are mistakes in here.
    Thank you in advance for helping me...


    At present, more and more people have been going back to school even though they get old. This situation proves that going to school plays an important role for successful future to most people. To my mind, going to school is the most certain road leading to succeed in my job and life in the future. There are three reasons why I must go to school: to widen my knowledge, to have a chance to get a good job, and to learn a lot of useful experience from others.
    In the first place, going to school will provide me with a source of knowledge and help develop my mind. Human’s knowledge is endless, and we are living in more and more advanced world, so it is very important for me to approach to infinite knowledge and modernization of the world. Even though I cannot know all the knowledge of human being, I will be equipped with a large amount of information and highly developed skills if I go to school.
    Secondly, I will have more opportunities to get a good job if I have an associate or bachelor degree. In fact, it is now not easy to have a job or career, and the rate of unemployment has been rising in recent years. Companies also require employees’ high educational level and professional skills. If I graduate from college or university with excellent or fair degree, I will have more advantages to apply for a fine job. On the other hand, others who do not go to school will have less chance to get satisfactory jobs or careers. For those reason, going to school will undoubtedly assist me to come close to nice job.
    Lastly, going to school is the only way to learn a lot of useful experience from others without paying anything. All of people have their own positive points for me to learn. When I am in school, I will easily get good experience from my teachers and my friends during my study. In addition, I can practice my ability of social communication through discussing problems and sharing ideas with my friends and my teachers. Experience and good ability social communication are necessary factors for my future job.
    In conclusion, the above reasons explain that why I must go to school. In my point of view, going to school will certainly provide me with many benefits. Moreover, it would help me approach to future success in my job and life.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: essay

    Quote Originally Posted by handson View Post
    I

    At present, more and more people have been going back to school even though they get old.
    Perhaps:
    More and more people have been going back to school -- even people in their forties and fifties.

  3. #3
    handson is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: essay

    Thank you very much.. I think your correction sounded better. Beside that sentence, the entire essay painted a distinct picture to you?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: essay

    Quote Originally Posted by handson View Post
    This situation proves that going to school plays an important role for successful future to most people.
    This situation proves that education is important to people.
    Note:
    Say road to success, not road leading to succeed.
    (The text of that post is in the smallest print possible, and I have to work really hard to read it.)



  5. #5
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    Default Re: essay

    Let's make it a little easier to read.

    Quote Originally Posted by handson View Post


    At present, more and more people have been going back to school even though they get old. This situation proves that going to school plays an important role for successful future to most people. To my mind, going to school is the most certain road leading to succeed in my job and life in the future. There are three reasons why I must go to school: to widen my knowledge, to have a chance to get a good job, and to learn a lot of useful experience from others.
    In the first place, going to school will provide me with a source of knowledge and help develop my mind. Human’s knowledge is endless, and we are living in more and more advanced world, so it is very important for me to approach to infinite knowledge and modernization of the world. Even though I cannot know all the knowledge of human being, I will be equipped with a large amount of information and highly developed skills if I go to school.
    Secondly, I will have more opportunities to get a good job if I have an associate or bachelor degree. In fact, it is now not easy to have a job or career, and the rate of unemployment has been rising in recent years. Companies also require employees’ high educational level and professional skills. If I graduate from college or university with excellent or fair degree, I will have more advantages to apply for a fine job. On the other hand, others who do not go to school will have less chance to get satisfactory jobs or careers. For those reason, going to school will undoubtedly assist me to come close to nice job.
    Lastly, going to school is the only way to learn a lot of useful experience from others without paying anything. All of people have their own positive points for me to learn. When I am in school, I will easily get good experience from my teachers and my friends during my study. In addition, I can practice my ability of social communication through discussing problems and sharing ideas with my friends and my teachers. Experience and good ability social communication are necessary factors for my future job.
    In conclusion, the above reasons explain that why I must go to school. In my point of view, going to school will certainly provide me with many benefits. Moreover, it would help me approach to future success in my job and life.
    Now let's space between paragraphs.




    More and more people have been going back to school even though they are older by a few years than the typical college undergraduate. This situation proves that going to school plays an important role for successful future to most people. To my mind, going to school is the most certain road leading to succeed in my job and life in the future. There are three reasons why I must go to school: to widen my knowledge, to have a chance to get a good job, and to learn a lot of useful experience from others.

    In the first place, going to school will provide me with a source of knowledge and help develop my mind. Human knowledge is endless, and we are living in a more and more advanced world, so it is very important for me to approach to infinite knowledge and modernization of the world. Even though I cannot know all the knowledge of human being, I will be equipped with a large amount of information and highly developed skills if I go to school.
    Secondly, I will have more opportunities to get a good job if I have an associate or bachelor degree. In fact, it is now not easy to have a job or career, and the rate of unemployment has been rising in recent years.

    Companies also require employees’ high educational level and professional skills. If I graduate from college or university with excellent or fair degree, I will have more advantages to apply for a fine job. On the other hand, others who do not go to school will have less chance to get satisfactory jobs or careers. For those reason, going to school will undoubtedly assist me to come close to nice job.

    Lastly, going to school is the only way to learn a lot of useful experience from others without paying anything. All of people have their own positive points for me to learn. When I am in school, I will easily get good experience from my teachers and my friends during my study. In addition, I can practice my ability of social communication through discussing problems and sharing ideas with my friends and my teachers. Experience and good ability social communication are necessary factors for my future job.

    In conclusion, the above reasons explain that why I must go to school. In my point of view, going to school will certainly provide me with many benefits. Moreover, it would help me approach to future success in my job and life.
    Where do you think some improvements can be make?






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