Dear Ms. Lopez: (I'd put one here instead of a colon)
At the suggestion, (I'd take this one out) of many of our subscribers, we have just added a new magazine, Lawns and Gardens, to our long line of distinguished publications. In all sincerity, we’re as proud as new parents on the arrival of our “new addition.”
To show you why we feel justifiably pleased, we (I'd use have prepared) prepared a beautifully illustrated booklet describing this new magazine for suburban homeowners. Your personal copy (I'd put one in here) Ms. Lopez, is enclosed.
Maintaining our reputation, (I'd take this one out) for excellence in the publishing field is our constant goal. We are confident (I'd put one before and after therefore) therefore that Lawns and Gardens, (I'd take this one out) will in no way detract from that reputation. Without a doubt, it will add to it considerably. Our new magazine, (I'd take this one out) is (I'd put one before and after in our opinion)in our opinion the most enjoyable and helpful publication of its type on the newsstands today. Moreover (I'd put one in here) judging from their enthusiastic letters (I'd put one in here) our subscribers share our opinion. To discover what Lawns and Gardens offers, you have to read it, however.
Accordingly, we are offering (I'd put one before and after for a short time only) for a short time only a special introductory rate of 12 issues for just $15. This rate (I'd put one before and after believe it or not) believe it or not will mean a saving to you of 50 percent over the single-copy price. In addition to this bargain rate, you receive of course our usual money-back guarantee of complete satisfaction. Consequently, this exceptional offer involves no risk to you at all.
To put Lawns and Gardens to work for you, simply return the enclosed order card. You will be billed later, Ms. Lopez. In the meanwhile, you can begin enjoying Lawns and Gardens, the best magazine of its kind.
- For Teachers