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  1. #1
    Jaskin is offline Senior Member
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    Default a formal spoken presentation

    Hello,
    I'd like to ask you for help with a formal spoken presentation;
    I'd appreciate if you checked it against any grammar mistakes and informal expressions that shouldn't occur.

    Hello, my name is Jaskin [...] and I'm going to talk about various reasons why some people are good at learning languages. Unfortunately, because of the limited time given I'll be able to make just a few points witch merely scratch the surface of this very wide subject. I'm going to make two points about the family background of a learner that makes learning easier, I'll try to dispute the “natural ability “ idea that is often mention and I'd like to highlight the importance of the exposure to the language.
    I'll finish my presentation with one sentence conclusion.

    To start with the background. The first, I think the most important aspect of it, It's the relation between the mother tongue and the language one learns. It's far easier to learn a language that has the common ancestor with your first language than learn a language that belongs to other language family. For example if you speak Spanish it's easier to learn Portuguese than , let say, Hungarian .


    [The second aspect of the family background are bilingual parents. ] ??? If one has been brought up in a family in witch parents have spoken in different languages since one's early childhood then the ability to communicate in another language comes naturally and affects the capability to master another language.
    (I think it's very clumsy any suggestion ?)


    So, that's all I wanted to say about the family background. The next point I'd like to discuss is the idea of the natural ability that some people have. I'd like to repeat hypothesis by Noam Chomsky who works on linguistic and whose works have a huge impact on the field, that children have the innate knowledge of the basics grammar structure common to all languages. So the natural ability is common to all humans not only to some . It's theorises that the only inborn skill is the recursive device of embedding sentences in sentences that allows us to create the infinite number of expressions.


    The last think I want to say and highlight is the exposure to the language.
    There is a joke.
    A student asked a teacher: When I really can say I'm immersed in the language.
    The Teacher responded: When you start to have dreams in the language you learn.
    The next day excited student came to the teacher and said : I've a dream in English.
    The Teacher asked: Uh.. yes... what it was about ?
    I don't know it was in English.


    I've mentioned already the family background gives you one opportunity. Living in a foreign country lets you immerse in the language you learning and I think the more you expose yourself to the language the better you become. It includes even the conscious thought process, speaking, reading, listening people who immerse themselves in all of the activities have a huge advantage in mastering language.


    In one sentence conclusion .. If your parents speak different languages, you leave in foreign country you learn languages from the same language family then there is a big chance that you will easily learn a new language.


    cheers,
    Last edited by Jaskin; 07-Dec-2008 at 16:00.

  2. #2
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    I'm neither a teacher of English nor a native speaker. Here's my two cents.

    ...I'm going to make two points about the family background of a learner that makes learning easier, I'll try to dispute the “natural ability “ idea that is often mention and I'd like to highlight the importance of the exposure to the language.
    I'll finish my presentation with one sentence conclusion.
    The sentence I highlighted in red is not necessary. A good essay or presentation is usually ended with a short conclusion.

    To start with the background. The first, I think the most important aspect of it, It's the relation between the mother tongue and the language one learns. It's far easier to learn a language that has the common ancestor with your first language than learn a language that belongs to other language family. For example if you speak Spanish it's easier to learn Portuguese than , let say, Hungarian .


    • "To start with the background" is not a complete sentence, so you cannot end with a period.
    • You don't elucidate what background you are going to start. I'd suggest " the background of ...
    • "start with " and "the first" are tautology.
    • I would suggest to delete "let say" because it is not necessary since you have mentioned this is an example.
    • I would suggest you tell the audience the relations among Spanish and Portugese, Hungarian because audience are not supposed to learn these three languages.

      [The second aspect of the family background are bilingual parents. ] ??? If one has been brought up in a family in witch parents have spoken in different languages since one's early childhood then the ability to communicate in another language comes naturally and affects the capability to master another language.
      (I think it's very clumsy any suggestion ?)
    • Personally, I don't like the word of "one", if you first to refer to any person. I prefer to say " a person".


      [quote]So, that's all I wanted to say about the family background. The next point I'd like to discuss is the idea of the natural ability that some people have. I'd like to repeat hypothesis by Noam Chomsky who works on linguistic and whose works have a huge impact on the field, that children have the innate knowledge of the basics grammar structure common to all languages. So the natural ability is common to all humans not only to some . It's theorises that the only inborn skill is the recursive device of embedding sentences in sentences that allows us to create the infinite number of expressions.[/QUOTE]
    • So, that's all I wanted to say about the family background. : This sentence is not necessary. If you finish it, of course, it is supposed that is all you want to say.
    • There should be a comma after Noam Chomsky.


    The last think I want to say and highlight is the exposure to the language.
    • The word of "think" is a typo.
    • I would write the sentence as below:
    Finally, I'd like to hightlight the exposure to the language.


    There is a joke.
    A student asked a teacher: When I really can say I'm immersed in the language.
    The Teacher responded: When you start to have dreams in the language you learn.
    The next day excited student came to the teacher and said : I've a dream in English.
    The Teacher asked: Uh.. yes... what it was about ?
    I don't know it was in English.


    I've mentioned already the family background gives you one opportunity. Living in a foreign country lets you immerse in the language you learning and I think the more you expose yourself to the language the better you become. It includes even the conscious thought process, speaking, reading, listening people who immerse themselves in all of the activities have a huge advantage in mastering language.
    • I've already mentioned....
    • I think there should be a period after "listening".

      In one sentence conclusion .. If your parents speak different languages, you leave in foreign country you learn languages from the same language family then there is a big chance that you will easily learn a new language.
    • "In one sentence conclusion." is not a sentence. I'd suggest to write "I'd like to conclude my points with a sentence.".
    • Acutally, "In one sentence conclusion" is redundant. Just say, In conclusion, blah, blah....
    Last edited by thedaffodils; 08-Dec-2008 at 03:33.

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaskin View Post
    Hello, my name is Jaskin [...] and I'm going to talk about various reasons why some people are good at learning languages.
    Perhaps:
    Hello, my name is Jaskin, and I am going to talk about why some people are better at learning languages than others are.

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    You might want to make a distinction between learning a first language and learning a second language.




  5. #5
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaskin View Post
    Hello, my name is Jaskin [...] and I'm going to talk about various reasons why some people are good at learning languages.
    Perhaps:
    Hello, my name is Jaskin, and I would like to briefly discuss language learning and why some people are better at it than others.

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaskin View Post
    Hello, my name is Jaskin [...] and I'm going to talk about various reasons why some people are good at learning languages. Unfortunately, because of the limited time given I'll be able to make just a few points witch merely scratch the surface of this very wide subject. I'm going to make two points about the family background of a learner that makes learning easier, I'll try to dispute the “natural ability “ idea that is often mention and I'd like to highlight the importance of the exposure to the language.
    I'll finish my presentation with one sentence conclusion.
    Make your introduction briefer. For example, take out the part where you say you have a limited amount of time. (You take up some of your time to say that.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaskin View Post
    To start with the background. The first, I think the most important aspect of it, It's the relation between the mother tongue and the language one learns. It's far easier to learn a language that has the common ancestor with your first language than learn a language that belongs to other language family. For example if you speak Spanish it's easier to learn Portuguese than , let say, Hungarian .

    Perhaps:
    The most important aspect of language learning is the relationship between our mother tongue and the language we are trying to learn. It's far easier to learn a language that is related to your first language than to learn a language that belongs to a different language family. For example if you speak Spanish it's easier to learn Portuguese than, let's say, Hungarian.

  7. #7
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaskin View Post

    To start with the background.
    Better:
    Let's start with the background.
    (You might want to keep that sentence, or you might not want to keep it.)




  8. #8
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    The editing, or rewriting, phase is where you decide what to take out and what to leave in. You might improve on a sentence at one point and later decide not to use that sentence at all.





  9. #9
    thedaffodils's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    Make your introduction briefer. For example, take out the part where you say you have a limited amount of time. (You take up some of your time to say that.)

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((applause))))))))))))))) ))))))

    Spot on!

  10. #10
    thedaffodils's Avatar
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    Default Re: a formal spoken presentation

    Hello, my name is Jaskin [...] and I'm going to talk about various reasons why some people are good at learning languages. Unfortunately, because of the limited time given I'll be able to make just a few points witch merely scratch the surface of this very wide subject. I'm going to make two points about the family background of a learner that makes learning easier, I'll try to dispute the “natural ability “ idea that is often mention and I'd like to highlight the importance of the exposure to the language.
    I'll finish my presentation with one sentence conclusion.
    1 On the basis of RonBee's suggestion about words in red, I think there's not much meat in the words which I highlighted in blue. Cut to the chase since the time is limited.

    2 "Mention" should be in passive voice.

    3. You say, "you will/are going to" four times.

    I prefer saying, " I will tell you Point 1,2,3. And Point 3 is what I focus on. Surmarize your points.

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