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  1. #1
    Bulkin is offline Newbie
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    Dec 2008
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    Please, check my first Pre-FCE informal letter (+)

    Hi all!

    Here is my letter:

    Dear Dean,
    Hi! How is it going? I hope you are okay. Have you started your project? I bet you have! Good Luck!
    Well, you asked me to drop a line from the UK. Now Iím in Manchester with Paul Smith and can fulfill it. You know he is my pen-friend. He is 18 and now he is a student. I met him on one Internet forum. We have the same hobby. Of course itís computer games. Paul is a good player. Iím staying at the Smithsí home. Paul is an only child and he lives with his parents Gary and Emma. They are greatly polite with me! They are so young parents! Gary is 40 and Emma is 38 and they both are teachers.
    By the way, a few words about Manchester. Nice city! Really is enjoying here because of a special spirit of the city. Paul has shown me many wonderful places. He has one more hobby. He is interested in the history of Manchester and can tell a lot of entertaining stories.
    Thatís all my news, but one last thing. Dean, could you tell me about our football team? Has it managed to reach the semi-final? Hope you write me back about that.
    I miss you Dean. Best wishes!
    Jack


    Thanks a lot!
    Last edited by Bulkin; 18-Dec-2008 at 17:30.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Re: Please, check my first Pre-FCE informal letter (+)

    Hey Bulkin,

    You might try this:

    ---
    Dear Dean,

    Hi! How is it going? I hope you are okay. Have you started your project? I bet you have! Good luck!

    Well, you asked me to drop a line from the UK. Iím in Manchester with Paul Smith. You remember him, my pen pal? He is 18 now and is a student. I met him on an internet forum. We have the same hobby: computer games. Paul is a good player.

    Iím staying at the Smithsí home. Paul is an only child and he lives with his parents, Gary and Emma. They are very polite to me! And they are so young for parents! Gary is 40 and Emma is 38, and they both are teachers.

    By the way, a few words about Manchester. Nice city! I am really enjoying it here because of the city's special spirit. Paul has shown me many wonderful places. He is interested in the history of Manchester and tells a lot of entertaining stories.

    Thatís all my news, but one last thing: Dean, could you tell me about our football team? Has it managed to reach the semifinal? I hope you will write me back about that.

    I miss you Dean. Best wishes!

    Jack
    ---

    I tried to keep your tone the same. Hope this helps!

    -GL

  3. #3
    Tdol is online now Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan
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    Re: Please, check my first Pre-FCE informal letter (+)

    Nice city!- Firstly, I'd go easy on the exclamation marks; they're a bit intrusive and distract as they demand attention and there's no need here. Also, this sentence fragment is not really a great start to a description of Manchester, which I presume is part of the task, or am I wrong? I think you're trying to play thiongs safe rather than risk making mistakes; look at the way you describe the age of youir friends and then of his parents. By being cautious or careful, you are producing too many sentences that are correct or OK but also a bit simple IMO.

  4. #4
    Katue is offline Newbie
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      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
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      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
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      • Russian Federation
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    Nov 2009
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    Re: Please, check my first Pre-FCE informal letter (+)

    Hello. I haven't been learnng English for 2 years. Now I decided to pass an FCE test, finally.
    Could you please check my first informal letter for a long time?

    The task: Your friend has sent you an email asking you about arrangemants to attend a musiacal festival next week. Reply to her e-mail.


    Dear Gloria,

    Thank you for your e-mail. I was really glad to hear that you decided to arrange a musical festival attendace. I would be greatful to help you. But, unfortunately, I am not sure if I am free enough to do it because I have to visit my granny as soon as it is possible. I promissed to help her about the garden almost two weeks ago. But I'll try to do my best!

    What could I do to help you? I could send everyone e-mails telling them the time of our meeting. When does the festival starts? I think we whold meet an our before it. I could also orrange an after-party if I managed to have some free time. Would you mind it? I suppose, no. What would you like to eat and drink? I suggest fish and chips. We could buy it in the nearest supermarket. And I would like to have coke for a drink.

    Waiting for your reply. I hope we will manage to arrange everything on time.

    Love,
    Kate.

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