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  1. #1
    naniek nurhaida is offline Newbie
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    Default Can you please correct my letter of motivation?

    Hello, I'm Naniek. I am applying to erasmus mundus master program and I hope someone would be so kind to help me correct my letter of motivation immediately. The deadline is 31th December. This is my letter:

    Dear Sir or Madam,


    My name is Naniek Nurhaida.I wish to apply for Erasmus Mundus Programme majoring MA Economics of International Trade and European Integration that will be conducted during the academic year 2009-2010.

    I have believed that mathematics is an important factor in a life. All human activities in several fields such as information technology, economics, physics, social and others will run well if they are cited in a good mathematics framework. This circumstance stimulated me to attend School of Statistics (Sekolah Tinggi Ilmu Statistik), one of government’s granted schools at university level. I choose statistics as my specialization even though at this time, there weren’t many people know about statistics and few students choose statistics as their specialization.
    Presently, I work as a civil servant for Badan Pusat Statistik (BPS-Statistics of Indonesia). My responsibilities are teaching, collecting and editing data from survey results, making annual publications, and translating some publications into English version. Beside fundamental mathematics, working as a statistic employee needs deep knowledge of economics and experiences in advanced research of applied statistics. Even though my undergraduate programme has given me a strong background in the fundamentals of various mathematics especially statistics, this is not enough for me to be professional. I have to continue my study in economics to enrich my skills and broaden my knowledge.


    As a government institution, BPS-Statistic is responsible to release economic reports, which are very important to government and business parties in determining their policies. Thus, the good capability on economics is absolutely needed to make a sharp and accurate economic analysis. In turn, a good analysis will lead government to make a good policy. I believe I will have a better analytic capability by joining this master programme. For that, I will do my best and show an excellent academic report.

    On my return home after training, I would like to dedicate myself to my country, particularly my institution by contributing my skills and capabilities for the enhancement of economy in Indonesia. I am sure my chosen programme will be beneficial to Indonesia since our country still needs a lot of more economists to develop the economy of Indonesia.

    Frankly to say, I also have had a dream to be a lecturer for a long time ago. I think study in Europe will give me a better quality and confidence. I would like to teach not only economics or statistics, but also English, where the skills will be well-improved during my study in Europe. This is also one of the ways in giving contribution for a better living of Indonesians.

    This scholarship will provide me an opportunity of experiencing an international education. I can meet different kind of people who will give me different points of view, which will be both valuable and enriching. This will improve my ability in interacting with other people from different culture and nationalities.
    I consider myself to be a good candidate for Erasmus Mundus Scholarship because I am young, energetic, hardworking, visionary, and motivated person who believes that I can do something for the benefit of my country where I have been working. I did my best with all maximum efforts I could give for my institution. But this is not enough. Frankly, I am not satisfied yet with what I did. I believe that I can do much better if I am trained and developed through a master of economics in Europe.


    Yours Faithfully,
    Last edited by naniek nurhaida; 28-Dec-2008 at 23:43. Reason: to make it better

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: Can you please correct my letter of motivation?

    Dear Sir or Madam,


    My name is Naniek Nurhaida. I wish to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Programme, majoring MA Economics of International Trade and European Integration, that will be conducted during the academic year 2009-2010.

    I believe that mathematics is an important factor in life. All human activity in fields such as information technology, economics, physics, social as well as others, will run well if they are cited within a good mathematics framework. This fact stimulated me to attend the School of Statistics (Sekolah Tinggi Ilmu Statistik), one of the government’s granted schools at university level. I chose statistics as my specialization even though at that time, not many people knew about statistics and few students chose statistics as their specialization.
    Presently, I work as a civil servant for Badan Pusat Statistik (BPS-Statistics of Indonesia). My responsibilities are teaching, collecting and editing data from survey results, making annual publications, and translating some publications into an English version. Beside fundamental mathematics, working as a statistic employee requires a deep knowledge of economics and experience in advanced research of applied statistics. Even though my undergraduate programme has given me a strong background in the fundamentals of various mathematics, especially statistics, this is not enough for me to be a professional. I have to continue my study in economics to enrich my skills and broaden my knowledge.


    As a government institution, BPS-Statistic is responsible for releasing economic reports, which are very important to government and business parties when determining their policies. Thus, a good capability in economics is absolutely necessary to make a sharp and accurate economic analysis. In turn, a good analysis will assist the government in its attempt to make good policy. I believe I will develop a better analytic capability by joining this master programme. To achieve that, I will do my best and seek an excellent academic report.

    On my return home after training, I would like to dedicate myself to my country, particularly my institution, by contributing my skills and capabilities for the enhancement of the economy in Indonesia. I am sure my chosen programme will be beneficial to Indonesia, since our country still needs a lot more economists to develop the economy of Indonesia.

    To be frank, I also have had a dream to be a lecturer for some time now. I think study in Europe will give me a better level of knowledge and confidence. I would like to teach not only economics or statistics, but also English, and my skills will become much improved during my study in Europe. This is also one of the ways of contributing to the improved living of Indonesians.

    This scholarship will provide me with an opportunity of experiencing an international education. I can meet different kinds of people who will give me different points of view, which will be both valuable and enriching. This will improve my ability in interacting with other people from different culture and nationalities.
    I consider myself to be a good candidate for the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship because I am a young, energetic, hardworking, visionary, and motivated person, and I believe that I can do something for the benefit of my country where I have been working. I have done my best and given the maximum effort I could give for my institution. But this is not enough. Frankly, I am not satisfied yet with what I have done. I believe that I can do much better if I am trained and developed further, by undertaking a Master of Economics qualification in Europe.


    Yours Faithfully,

  3. #3
    naniek nurhaida is offline Newbie
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    Thumbs up Re: Can you please correct my letter of motivation?

    Thank you very much tspoon. It really helped me..

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