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  1. #1
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    Default Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Hi everyone,

    I am new here. I wanted to give a shot. I know my writing level is low. We are not here because we are good. We are here to be good. Thanks.

    Akon is better than T-Pain in singing. He sings with ease. He sings with his natural voice. He is versatile because he sings every type of songs. His voice is unique. T-Pain does not have these qualities.

  2. #2
    sonumonu5678 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    The sentences are pretty basic and simple. They make sense to me except for the third one. I would change it to:
    He is versatile because he can sing every genre of music.
    OR
    He is versatile because he can sing many different types of songs.

    Hope this helps you!!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Quote Originally Posted by sonumonu5678 View Post
    The sentences are pretty basic and simple. They make sense to me except for the third one. I would change it to:
    He is versatile because he can sing every genre of music.
    OR
    He is versatile because he can sing many different types of songs.

    Hope this helps you!!
    Thank you very much. I appreciated this.

    I hope that I will not repeat the mistake when I write again.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saad_1 View Post
    Hi everyone,

    I am new here. I wanted to give a shot. I know my writing level is low. We are not here because we are good. We are here to be good. Thanks.

    Akon is better than T-Pain in singing. He sings with ease. He sings with his natural voice. He is versatile because he sings every type of songs. His voice is unique. T-Pain does not have these qualities.
    You might want to change your grammer and make replacements of the periods with commas. You are basically listing his talents, so you can use commas to join this list rather than fragmenting it into seperate sentences.

    He sings with ease, with his natural and unique voice, and he is versatile because he sings different genres of music.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Quote Originally Posted by SeseinAsia View Post
    You might want to change your grammer and make replacements of the periods with commas. You are basically listing his talents, so you can use commas to join this list rather than fragmenting it into seperate sentences.

    He sings with ease, with his natural and unique voice, and he is versatile because he sings different genres of music.
    Is that necessary to do for writing correctly? Will I lose marks in school? I make extra mistakes when I use commas or colons. I want to keep sentences simple when I write.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saad_1 View Post
    Is that necessary to do for writing correctly? Will I lose marks in school? I make extra mistakes when I use commas or colons. I want to keep sentences simple when I write.
    There is such a thing as oversimplification. Learning to use commas effectively indicates a higher command over the English language. Early in your education it may be acceptable to fragment the list, but there will come times when you are penalized for not using commas to effectively join the list. Leaving the list fragmented is rather elementary English, and you will be expected to use commas.

    Furthermore, I believe that using periods in this case is actually a mistake. A period is used as an end, but your idea is continued through all of your sentences. As a result, I do not believe that it is correct to use a punctuation mark, which has the very definition of to end a declaration. Your declaration is continuing through your other sentences, and commas are perfect for linking.

    Read through the page which I will provide the link to you for. It provides very clear explanations of how to appropriately use the comma, as well as plenty of examples to help you understand. You will quickly find that the comma is a very, very highly used punctuation mark, as you can probably already gather from reading my writing.

    Using Commas

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Quote Originally Posted by SeseinAsia View Post
    There is such a thing as oversimplification. Learning to use commas effectively indicates a higher command over the English language. Early in your education it may be acceptable to fragment the list, but there will come times when you are penalized for not using commas to effectively join the list. Leaving the list fragmented is rather elementary English, and you will be expected to use commas.

    Furthermore, I believe that using periods in this case is actually a mistake. A period is used as an end, but your idea is continued through all of your sentences. As a result, I do not believe that it is correct to use a punctuation mark, which has the very definition of to end a declaration. Your declaration is continuing through your other sentences, and commas are perfect for linking.

    Read through the page which I will provide the link to you for. It provides very clear explanations of how to appropriately use the comma, as well as plenty of examples to help you understand. You will quickly find that the comma is a very, very highly used punctuation mark, as you can probably already gather from reading my writing.

    Using Commas
    This is a very useful post. Thanks.

    I have a habit of writing all sentences without commas.

    For example,
    While I was eating, the cat scratched at the door.
    Because her alarm clock was broken, she was late for class.
    If you are ill, you ought to see a doctor.
    When the snow stops falling, we'll shovel the driveway.

    The way I write
    The cat scratched at the door while I was eating.
    She was late for class because her alarm clock was broken.
    We'll shovel the driveway when the snow stops falling.
    You ought to see a doctor if you are ill.

    Are these sentences right?

    I am looking forward to hear from you.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Can anyone help me correct the paragraph?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saad_1 View Post
    This is a very useful post. Thanks.

    I have a habit of writing all sentences without commas.

    For example,
    While I was eating, the cat scratched at the door.
    Because her alarm clock was broken, she was late for class.
    If you are ill, you ought to see a doctor.
    When the snow stops falling, we'll shovel the driveway.

    The way I write
    The cat scratched at the door while I was eating.
    She was late for class because her alarm clock was broken.
    We'll shovel the driveway when the snow stops falling.
    You ought to see a doctor if you are ill.

    Are these sentences right?

    I am looking forward to hear from you.
    Yes, those sentences are correct, however, I believe they may be considered more correct when you use the commas.

    The first examples which you took from the website is telling you how you may use commas based on the appearence of the words, which they highlighted in red.

    As you have probably already noticed, your writing and the examples provided on the website differ greatly in terms of word order. In order for you to place words in the order that the website used, you would have to be using commas. Without commas, the website examples would definitely be seen as wrong.

    I believe that the difference mainly in your examples and the examples from the website, is the difference in how they are written from a stylistic point of view.

    Since you are still a beginner in terms of using commas, I would begin by reviewing and making sure that you have a good understanding and practice using commas in the ways explained in sections 1, 3, and 5.

    From there you can expand your knowledge by looking over the other sections.

    If you would like, I could provide you with practice sentences where you need to insert the commas, or you could send me some that you have made up yourself and I can help you review them.

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