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  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Default Please Check my paragraph!!!

    Human have been accepting different changes such as living their life and doing things with the change of time and one of the major change is way they do shopping, internet shopping, Big shopping mall and small convinent stores are different option that today's customers have for shopping. Due to various advantages and benifits of big shopping mall, small stores are disappearing day by day. In further paragraph i am going to analyze the advantage of bigger shopping mall over small shopping store.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: Please Check my paragraph!!!

    hello
    well i think you should be more precise in introducing the topic of ur paragraph and consistents in all ur arguments
    avoid using vague expressions and unclear sentences:
    living their life, doing things use life style instead
    what do you mean by small convinent shops?
    use the articles correctly: ...is the way they do shopping
    i think that you should use simple sentences to make your paragraph readable
    it is necessary to make the subject of the paragraph clear to the reader right from the beginning by using a topical sentence that will introduce your passage and let the reader know about the whole paragraph just by reading it for example: nowadays, our shopping habits, consumer's behaviour and life styles have changed greatly. IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SHOPPING IN THE MODERN TIMES
    you should then develop your idea and provide consistent arguments

    Human beings have been accepting different changes such as living their life and doing things with the change of time and one of the major changes is way they do shopping, internet shopping, Big shopping mall and small convinent stores are different options that today's customers have for shopping. Due to various advantages and benifits of big shopping mall, small stores are disappearing day by day. In further paragraph i am going to analyze the advantage of bigger shopping mall over small shopping store.

    I beleive that I can better help u if you tell me the subject you want to discuss
    hoping the above will be useful

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Please Check my paragraph!!!

    Try:
    One of things people have been doing differently over the past few years has to do with shopping. Specifically, shopping over the Internet has increased significantly. Also, people prefer to go to big shopping centers rather than shop at small neighborhood stores.


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