Results 1 to 6 of 6
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 2,049
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    short passage for correction

    Hi fellow members

    Please correct the passage for me. Many thanks in advance.


    One day, Mrs Tan, her daughter Sally and Mr Lau and an elderly woman were waiting for the lift to come. When the door of the lift opened, they went into the life and Sally pressed the lift number of the floor she was living on. The also pressed the floor numbers for the other passengers.

    On reaching the third floor, the lift suddenly stopped moving. Mrs Tan, her daughter and the old woman passenger were very scared, but Mr Lau told them to remain calm and not panic. He pressed the lift door emergency bell repeated. About fifteen minutes later, two lift technicians arrived. One of them said in a reassuring voice, “Remain calm. The lift will be opened soon.

    A few minutes late, the lift door opened. Mrs Tan and her daughter thanked the technicians. The other passengers also thanked them. After that, they walked to their flats, relieved that their ordeal was over.


    • Join Date: Apr 2008
    • Posts: 55
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: short passage for correction

    (NOT A TEACHER)


    One day, Mrs Tan, her daughter Sally, Mr Lau and an elderly woman were waiting for the lift to come. When the door of the lift opened, they get inside the lift and Sally pressed the lift number of the floor she stays. She had also pressed the floor numbers for the other members.

    On reaching at the third floor, the lift got struck. Mrs Tan, Sally and an old woman got scared, but Mr Lau told them to remain calm and didnot panic. He repeatedly pressed the lift door emergency bell and two lift technicians arrived after fifteen mintues. One of them said in a reassuring voice to remain calm. The lift will be ready soon.

    The lift door opened after repair work i.e. few minutes. Mrs Tan, Sally and other members thanked the technicians. They walked to their flats and being relieved of ordeal.
    Last edited by rks; 09-Jan-2009 at 11:02.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 2,049
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: short passage for correction

    Thanks, Rks.

    You've done a good job. I hope another member will confirm whether there are any other errors.

    Many thanks in advance.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,448
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: short passage for correction

    Quote Originally Posted by rks View Post
    (NOT A TEACHER)


    One day, Mrs Tan, her daughter Sally, Mr Lau and an elderly woman were waiting for the lift to come. When the door of the lift opened, they get inside into the lift and Sally pressed the lift number for the floor on which she stays lives. She had also pressed the floor numbers for the others members.

    On reaching the third floor, the lift got struck stopped working. Mrs Tan, Sally and the old woman got scared, but Mr Lau did not panic and told them to remain calm. He repeatedly pressed the lift's emergency bell and two lift technicians arrived after fifteen mintues. One of them said in a reassuring voice to remain calm. The lift will be ready soon.

    The lift door opened after repair work i.e. few minutes. Mrs Tan, Sally and other membersthe others thanked the technicians. They walked to their flats and being relieved, very relieved after the ordeal.
    Additional changes in blue.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 2,049
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #5

    Re: short passage for correction

    Many thanks, Anglika.


    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 1
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #6

    Re: short passage for correction

    Hi Elaine,
    I tried to correct your story. My correction is in red.
    Except for those few errors, your paragraph is quite good. However, it could be much better if you had added some details. You used the word "ordeal" - it's too strong a word for your story. Make it ordeal - write about their feelings and emothions.
    Good luck!

    One day, Mrs Tan, her daughter Sally, Mr Lau, and an elderly woman were waiting for the lift to come. When the door of the lift opened, they went into the life and Sally pressed the key of the floor she was living on. The also pressed the floor numbers for the other passengers.

    On reaching the third floor, the lift suddenly stopped. Mrs Tan, her daughter, and the old woman passenger were very scared, but Mr Lau told them to remain calm and not to panic. He pressed the lift door emergency bell repeatedly. About fifteen minutes later, two lift technicians arrived. One of them said in a reassuring voice, “Remain calm. The lift will be opened soon."

    A few minutes later, the lift door opened. Mrs Tan and her daughter thanked the technicians. The other passengers also thanked them. After that, they walked to their flats, relieved that their ordeal was over.

Similar Threads

  1. short passage
    By kohyoongliat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 28-Mar-2007, 06:46
  2. short passage for Year 2 students
    By kohyoongliat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-Mar-2007, 13:36
  3. short passage
    By kohyoongliat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-Feb-2007, 03:50
  4. short passage
    By kohyoongliat in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Dec-2006, 04:56
  5. short passage
    By kohyoongliat in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 21-Dec-2006, 18:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •