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    #1

    Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Hi,

    I am sitting FCE in March (an international exam of the University of Cambridge) and need someone to correct my writing. This exam is level B2 (For Toelf 87-109; for IELTS 5.5). I should write between 120-180 words (as I did in this article).



    Exercise: You have seen the following advertisement in a young people's magazine.

    Ad: "The young people of today are likely to live longer and be healthier than any other generation. Why do you think that is? Write us an article answering this question".


    My writing:

    Live forever

    Have you realised that we young people are the most healthy generation ever? This is because we have access to sports and the discoveries in Medicine. We will live until ninety!

    Nowadays we have more and more varied medicines and we are capable of preventing some illnesses using vacummes. You can recover from a flu in two days taking a pill while fifty years ago that illness can be mortal. Last year I got vacummed and have never got any other cold so far.

    The other big change in our lives regards sports. Why not doing one hour a day of exercise? Everyone can do this and gives you a better physical and mental health. Take what happened to me: My doctor told me to start swimming because I have asthma. I took it up and from that day on I feel better and better.

    I believe sports and modern medicines will certainly let young people live more than any other generation. Let's enjoy our lives!!
    Thanks in advance

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    #2

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    I think you are talking about vaccines. Also, when you say "access to sports" I think you are talking about exercise.

    Do today's youth really exercise more? Do they have better habits than their elders? For example, do they smoke less? Do they eat better?



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    #3

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Yes, I am talking about vaccines.

    Yes, I meant to say that doing exercise makes you live longer.

    Do today's youth really exercise more? Do they have better habits than their elders? For example, do they smoke less? Do they eat better?
    Should I answer this questions in the writing? In which part? Remember the article should be between 120-180 words.

    Thank you very much!

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    #4

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Quote Originally Posted by Cache View Post
    Hi,

    I am sitting FCE in March (an international exam of the University of Cambridge) and need someone to correct my writing. This exam is level B2 (For Toelf 87-109; for IELTS 5.5). I should write between 120-180 words (as I did in this article).



    Exercise: You have seen the following advertisement in a young people's magazine.

    Ad: "The young people of today are likely to live longer and be healthier than any other generation. Why do you think that is? Write us an article answering this question".


    My writing:



    Thanks in advance

    I am not a teacher, nor a doctor, but the sentence regarding the flu (influenza) and a cold is incorrect. The flu vaccine does nothing for the common cold, as they are very (and many) different viruses.


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    #5

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Perhaps you misunderstood something.

    You can recover from a flu in two days taking a pill while fifty years ago that illness can be mortal. Last year I got vacummed and have never got any other cold so far.
    What I said in that sentence is that you can take a pill to recover from a flu. Apart from that, I give an example of what happened when I got vacummed.

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    #6

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Quote Originally Posted by Cache View Post
    Perhaps you misunderstood something.



    What I said in that sentence is that you can take a pill to recover from a flu. Apart from that, I give an example of what happened when I got vacummed.
    I don't think I misunderstand. By saying that you were vaccinated (not vaccumed) and not getting a cold in the same sentence, I would understand that you infer that the vaccination is the reason for not getting a cold.


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    #7

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Quote Originally Posted by Searching for language View Post
    I don't think I misunderstand. By saying that you were vaccinated (not vaccumed) and not getting a cold in the same sentence, I would understand that you infer that the vaccination is the reason for not getting a cold.
    Yes, I think it prevents you from getting a cold. Have you ever heard of the vaccine against flu?

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    #8

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Quote Originally Posted by Cache View Post
    Yes, I think it prevents you from getting a cold. Have you ever heard of the vaccine against flu?
    I get my flu shot every year. There is no vaccine for the common cold.


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    #9

    Re: Please, would you correct my article? I am sitting an international exam

    Ok, you are right. I'll check my writing

    Thanks!

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