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  1. #1
    xsusanamarx is offline Newbie
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    motivation letter - need correction

    To the Head of the Department of Cardiothoracic Surgery
    Dear Sir/Madam,

    My name is A and I am a 22 years old medical student from X, currently attending the 5th year at the University of X.

    I am writing to express my great interest in applying for an elective period (one month - August 2009) at the cardiothoracic surgery department of your hospital. It has always been a great wish of mine to get some medical experience in this fascinating area.

    Since 2004/2005, I have been a medical student at the University of X. In the first two years I engrossed my theoretical skills at anatomy, physiology and biochemistry. With the beginning of my third year, the medical education has become much more practical. I learned how to make a full clinical history and perform a complete physical examination. I also studied microbiology, pathology, pharmacology and imagiology. In my fourth year I became a clinical student, so since them I have been learning theoretical matters and also practical skills in many different clinical areas. For example I have been assigned to many different hospital deparments such as General Surgery, Plastic Surgery, Internal Medicine, Cardiology, Pneumology, Gastroenterology, Rheumatology, Neurology, Ophthalmology Pediatrics, Psychiatry, Hematology, Infectious Diseases and Genetic Diseases.
    As you can suppose, since I am 5th year medical student I have already gained basic knowledge in cardiothoracic surgery, so be assigned in your department would represent a great opportunity to improve my practical skills. It would also allow me to get in touch with a foreign hospital and thus be able to compare different realities and medical practices, an experience that I havenīt had so far.
    I look forward for a positive response from your behalf.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.

    Yours faithfully,
    A

  2. #2
    English-coach's Avatar
    English-coach is offline Member
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    Smile Re: motivation letter - need correction

    I have made some suggestions and changes before. Great job!

    To the Head of the Department of Cardiothoracic Surgery
    Dear Sir/Madam,

    My name is A and I am a 22 year
    s old medical student from X, currently attending my 5th year at the University of X.
    I am writing to express my great interest in applying for an elective period (one month - August 2009) at the cardiothoracic surgery department of your hospital. It has always been a great desire of mine to obtain medical experience in this fascinating area.

    Since 2004/2005, I have been a medical student at the University of X. In my first two years I ?engrossed ?? [polished] my theoretical skills in anatomy, physiology and biochemistry. In the beginning of my third year, I realized how practical the medical education has become much more practical. I learned how to perform a full clinical history and a complete physical examination. I was also able to study microbiology, pathology, pharmacology and imagiology.

    In my fourth year I became a clinical student, and since then I have been learning theoretical matters and also honing practical skills in many different clinical areas;
    such as I have been being assigned to many different hospital deparments including General Surgery, Plastic Surgery, Internal Medicine, Cardiology, Pneumology, Gastroenterology, Rheumatology, Neurology, Ophthalmology Pediatrics, Psychiatry, Hematology, Infectious Diseases and Genetic Diseases.

    As you can see, by being a 5th year medical student I have already gained basic knowledge in cardiothoracic surgery, and the opportunity to be assigned in your department would be a great opportunity to improve my practical skills. It would also allow me to get in touch with a foreign hospital and thus be able to compare different realities and medical practices, an experience that I haven't been able to have thus far.

    I look forward to hearing from you and possibly working with you in the future.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.

    Sincerly,
    A


    There you go...I changed a bit of sentence structure just to get the flow a little easier...but other than that it is very good. :) Good luck with your posting. I hope you get the opportunity to go there. :)

    Diana
    http://www.helping-you-learn-english.com
    Last edited by English-coach; 25-Jan-2009 at 13:12.

  3. #3
    xsusanamarx is offline Newbie
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    Re: motivation letter - need correction

    Thank you a lot )

  4. #4
    English-coach's Avatar
    English-coach is offline Member
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    Re: motivation letter - need correction

    You are very welcome.

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