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  1. #1
    gx90t is offline Junior Member
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    Dec 2007
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    Default I'm confused:(....can you help me?

    COMPOSITION:
    In 2155 school might be completely different from what it is now. Using your experience and your own knowledge say how it m ight be and how you would like it to be.


    School, a special building where people can help one another for improving their knowledge about awesome things of the world, as we intend nowadays, can be replaced in the future by a noisy programm on the internet for each student.
    Pens,pencils and note books will not be used more in the everyday life of students and their ancient tradition takes place only in the old memories of history.
    Students don't have to cope with daily the alarm clock, don't learn new people because their classroom is simply a special room in their own house.
    It will be more easy to reach it but relationships can't be only on a screen and so the sociability will be very difficult among people that are trying to avoid them, passing an enormous amount of time in front of a screen.
    I focused my imagination on that, becuase the innovative tecnologie that is widespreading around the world will soon change the school too.
    Teachers are people who are able to teach to students, a computer can't. But the future and the tecnologie in it will not cope with these problems the only thing they can see is the improvement of the importance of computers in everyday life.
    Visiting new countries, learning new people, spending time chatting with friends, reading books, writing and also surfing on the net in the right portion can develop a great basement for a future school.
    In the same time it would be able to open our mind in the world, founding interesting and amazing things to know.

    I hope you can give me a hand on trying to correct it!!!!:):):)
    See you soon.....

  2. #2
    STCrowley's Avatar
    STCrowley is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • Germany
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    17
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    Default Re: I'm confused:(....can you help me?

    Hey, qx90t:

    Others will have more advice. I thought I'd give you the two things I noticed first:
    1. You say "learn people" twice. We say "meet people" in English.
    2. In the first line, you wrote "can help one another for improving. . ." A better possibility is "can help one another improve" But, really, I'd just say "can help one another learn."

    Hope this was a good start,
    -Toby

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