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  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Thesis Statement help

    im writing a ten page research paper on the crusades and i was wondering how this thesis statement sounds

    During the Medieval Crusades, the christian crusaders committed many unjustifiable attacks
    against religious parties to help supply their Holy War.

    hasnt been turned in yet

  2. #2
    bhaisahab's Avatar
    bhaisahab is offline Moderator
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    Re: Thesis Statement help

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    im writing a ten page research paper on the crusades and i was wondering how this thesis statement sounds

    During the Medieval Crusades, the christian crusaders committed many unjustifiable attacks
    against religious parties to help supply their Holy War. This is not well written.

    hasnt been turned in yet
    If you register as a member you will get more help.

  3. #3
    Thanatos058 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Thesis Statement help

    well what can be done to it to make it better i have like no idea

  4. #4
    Thanatos058 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Thesis Statement help

    ok i redid it just a bit let me know if its any better or what not



    During the Medieval Crusades, the christian crusaders had committed many unjustifiable attacks
    against relgious parties to help supply their Holy War, and in the end was a huge reason why
    the Greek Church of Byzantium and the Roman Church of the West were never reunited.

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