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  1. #1
    kscott is offline Newbie
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    Default Help me word this correctly

    Is this correct, the wording?


    I have scheduled the Youth Drama Ministry in the Allen Building for every Wednesday during the month of February from 7:00 8:30 p.m. with the exception of Wednesday, February 18 being in CR205 for the same time. If you could place in writing the time you need that would be helpful for future rehearsals another ministry had already secured the 6:00 7:00 time slot for the Allen Building on Wednesdays. Yvonne, as soon as you know of your schedule please get with me so we can place it on the calendar.

  2. #2
    abaka is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Help me word this correctly

    May I suggest:

    I have scheduled the Youth Drama Ministry in the Allen Building for every Wednesday during the month of February, from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. On February 18, however, we will meet in CR205, at the same time.

    It would be helpful for our future rehearsals if you place in writing any extra time you need: another ministry has already secured the 6:00 – 7:00 time slot for the Allen Building on Wednesdays.

    OR

    It would be helpful if you place in writing any extra time you need for our future rehearsals: another ministry has already secured the 6:00 – 7:00 time slot for the Allen Building on Wednesdays.

    Yvonne, please let me know your schedule as soon as it is set, so we can place it on the calendar.

    I would say, if I may: try to keep your sentences a little shorter. Break the text up into shorter paragraphs, unless you are constrained to keep it all together.

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