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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    33
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    Default please correct my letter and please give a ascore to my letter

    DearSir,

    Hereby, I am writing to apologize about not being able to be present at my job on time. My full name is Jack Anderson. I were supposed to start my job next week on Monday 15th july, but I could not.

    Actually, while I was getting off a bus, accidentally, I slipped and broke my leg. It was not so serious, but I should have some rest.

    Fortunately, My doctor said me that I could go to work in two weeks. Hence, I suppose I can come to the job on 21 july. I terribly sorry about this delay.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.


    Your faithfully

    Jack Anderson

  2. #2
    Siberic is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    4
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    Default Re: please correct my letter and please give a ascore to my letter

    I suppose this letter will be used as an apology in front of your superiors. You need to make it a bit more formal, I think. So here's my version:

    Dear Sir/Madame/Sirs,

    My name is Jack Anderson. I am supposed to start working as your emloyee next week, on Monday 15th of July, but unfortunately I won't be able to. (Monday, 15th of July is still in the future at the time of writing, right? Which is why I find the use of past tense inappropriate.)

    The reason for this is an ijury I had (when?). I ("accidentally" is really not needed - noone breaks his leg on purpose) broke my leg after I slipped while getting off a bus. Although not the worst fracture, I will still have to take some rest.

    ("Fortunately"? I don't see anything fortunate here) The doctor said the earliest time I could start working is in two weeks. That means I could come to work on 21st of July. I'm terribly sorry for this delay.

    Thank you in advance for your understanding.

    Yours faithfully

    Jack Anderson

    Hope this helps. Please let the moderators correct this message in case of any mistakes, for which I apologize in advance.
    Last edited by Siberic; 04-Feb-2009 at 14:47.

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