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    #1

    please; correct this essay and give opinion.

    Essay: learning a second language enables a better communication between people and cultures.
    ___________________________________________
    Learning a second language enables a better communication between people. As it is known, language is a tool of communication; it opens doors of dialogue widely. As well, speaking a second language excludes misunderstanding between cultures and societies. For this reason, learning a second language requires to be put in its cultural context.

    Second language plays an important role in communication. Because the world became as a small village, people are in urgent need of second language. This purpose allows them to communicate with other people and to know what is happening around the world. Furthemore, it allows an opportunity to understand other cultures.

    Another interest of learning a second language is understanding other cultures. In fact, a second language can participate in avoiding confrontation between cultures and societies. Also, it permits to learn new cultures and to profit from them. Hence, this way gives birth to tolerance and co-existence. In addition to this, second language is the key to keep in tooch with history and culture of other societies.

    This last idea will lead us to shed light on cultural context of second language. In deed, if second language is learned in isolation of its cultural context can not be useful. Here, I mean the importance of studying a language with its culture. For instance, the meanings of idioms are not always shared between languages.

    In conclusion, learning a second language no doubt is the solution for dialogue between people. But, this can be achieved only with respect of some conditions, for example, learning a language with its culture.

    Thank you very much.

  1. glitterstar101
    Guest
    #2

    Re: please; correct this essay and give opinion.

    Hi Yassin

    Firstly, I would like to commend you on your knowledge of written language considering it is not you first language. Well done!
    I originally edited your essay before but the webpage expired and everthing was wiped, bugger!
    Here are some of my opinions:

    You introduction sentence is stating your thesis but it is not justified. Perhaps try using a different connective instead of as well use in addition or addtionally. See my example below:

    Learning a second language enhances communication between people because communicating acts as a tool to extend an individuals language dialogue. In addition, speaking a second language excludes misunderstanding between cultures and societies as all language involves diversity in cultural contexts.

    I don’t really get the second paragraph below so I made a few edits including connecting information with previous paragraph. Have you considered using references to support your statements? Also, it is not wise to start a sentence with because. Remember this is only my opinion.

    This diversity of cultural contexts and need (by who) for effective communication increases the importance for individuals to learn and speak a second language. In historic times, the world was known (by whom?) as a small village and the neccessity to aquire an additional language was not a prority. The role that communication plays in the modern world strengthens this need……..

    Next paragraph, try using a different connective instead of in fact perhaps go back to your thesis


    Another interesting aspect of learning a second language is understanding other cultures. This can result in preventing confrontation between cultures and societies because that common knowledge of respect and understanding is ……..


    Sorry, I have run out of time. Hope some of this helps you with your essay. Some hints, spell check manually and through computer. Read aloud and work on your connectives. Try and think of some more complex connectives instead of ‘also’ and ‘the last idea.’

    Susannah
    (I am a student teacher so I am still learning)

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