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  1. #1
    bluesmoke is offline Newbie
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    to correct my cover letter,

    Dear all,
    I am posting here my cover letter with an humble request to please check and correct it. Apart from grammatical structural errors I would also welcome the technical faults regarding cover letter writting. Thank You
    here it goes..............

    " I am writing with the intention of expressing my concern and interest in the post for “Entwickler Embedded Systems”, advertised at www.monster.com. I am certain to say that my study and experience in design and development of both hardware and software of Embedded Systems, hand on experience with short range communications e.g. Zigbee, Bluetooth and Wi-Fi and sensor networks, and understanding of interoperability protocols e.g. UPnP would add value in your team.

    In my graduation studies I am introduced with embedded design and wireless sensor network design techniques along with some practical experience of design and development hardware and software of low power sensor nodes with short range connectivity technologies like RFID, IEEE802.15.4 (Zigbee) and Bluetooth. In my semester project works I got some hand on experience of PCB design tools and software design environments e.g. Mentor Graphics PADS, AVR studio, Kiel etc. and also with some simulation and test benches like MATLAB and LABVIEW.

    I got opportunity to take part in the project “SI S”, a sub project of EU Media+ “CC” project in PA.Tech for my internship. The goal of the project “SIS” is to develop a platform to study the integration of sensor technology, embedded systems and multi radio communication technologies with seamless connectivity mechanism to improve the quality of care for infants, primarily in in-car and secondary in in-home and in other relevant scenarios. In this project I was given the task to implement and integrate the various sub systems including the multimedia streaming server, multi radio communication interfaces and UPnP enabled gateway to expose the multimedia and sensor devices as services to IP based networks. I am continuing the same project with PATech for my final Masters thesis and will complete it until end of May 2009. During my thesis work I will work to develop and embed several other Zigbee sensors like ECG, temperature sensor etc with an UPnP gateway according to UPnP-Zigbee Specifications.

    For further details, I have attached a copy of my resume. I am looking forward to meeting with you in person. I can be reached at +31 40 1234567 during working hours or on my mobile phone +31 62 7654321 any time. You can write me at EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead. Thank you for considering my application.

  2. #2
    thod00 is offline Member
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    Re: to correct my cover letter,

    I am writing with the intention of expressing my concern and interest in the post for “Entwickler Embedded Systems”, advertised at Find Jobs. Build a Better Career. Find Your Calling. | Monster.com
    I am writing to express my interest in the post of “Entwickler Embedded Systems”, advertised at Find Jobs. Build a Better Career. Find Your Calling. | Monster.com

    "Expressing your concern" is something you would write if you were upset about something they were doing.

    I am certain to say that my study and experience in design and development of both hardware and software of Embedded Systems, hand on experience with short range communications e.g. Zigbee, Bluetooth and Wi-Fi and sensor networks, and understanding of interoperability protocols e.g. UPnP would add value in your team.
    You have a sentence as large as a paragraph. It is unreadable. You must break the sentence up. When enumerating a list such as A and B and C, only use 'and' for the last item. So A, B, and C.

    I have both theoretical and practical experience in the design and development of of Embedded Systems. This includes both hardware and software. I have 'hands on' experience of short range communications systems, Zigbee, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, sensor networks etc. I also have a sound understanding of interoperability protocols e.g. UPnP. I believe that I would add value in your team.

    You then go on to list ever more technologies that you know. Yet this makes your text difficult to read. I understand that you want to list everything so you show up in computerized searches, but this is bad style. You must write a letter in the same way you would talk to another person, not write lists. The recruiter has lots of letters to read and if one is boring they will throw it away and pick up the next letter. Recall that is just the covering letter. You can list all your technologies on the CV itself.

  3. #3
    bluesmoke is offline Newbie
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    Re: to correct my cover letter,

    thank you very much thod00 for yourvaluable suggestions. I will try to improve my writtings

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