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  1. #1
    Tessazzz is offline Newbie
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    Could someone please have a look at my "Statement of Purpose"? Running out of time!

    Hi! I'm applying for a study abroad spot at a university in Australia and I was hoping someone could look over my grammar and maybe give me some tips on what to cut and what to add to the letter. I would really appreciate it!



    Statement of Purpose



    Dear sir or madam,


    with this letter I wish to apply for a study abroad spot at ....... University for the autumn semester, starting September 2009.

    I will finish the 4th year of my law degree at the University of Oslo in May, and wish to use the next semester studying abroad at .......... University. I would describe myself as a positive and outgoing girl. I like to be part of social happenings and other activities, at the moment I'm having a lot of fun putting together a cabaret show at my faculty along with a large group of other students. I also enjoy reading literature on my spare time, and I work part time in a bookshop. I like to challenge myself in both my studies and my personal life, and I think a semester abroad would be both challenging and exiting, in addition to broadening my horizons.

    My reasons for choosing ........... are many, I have spent a lot of time looking for information on your webpage, and the courses I have read about is my main reason for applying. I am especially interested in gaining an insight into the legal thinking, doctrines and techniques of the Common Law system, as it is very different from the Civil Law-based system used in Norway, and I feel the best way to learn more about it is to study law in a country where it is used. I am also quite interested in you courses in ....... and ........ I also like the small teaching groups and the international profile of the University. It makes it easier to learn, and to get to know the other students, which is my two main goals for this semester abroad. As for the country itself I have always wanted to come to Australia because of the fantastic nature and animal life, but I have never before had the opportunity because of the long distance from Norway. This made my choice of both country and university easy.

    I'm not sure exactly what I want to do after I complete my law degree, but working for a big international corporation advising them on their legal affairs is something that seems really exciting, and I think a semester abroad will help me better understand the differences in law and culture across the world. This knowledge would be essential when working with legal advice in an international firm. A semester at ... would also be a wonderful chance to make friends and meet useful contacts from all over the world, because of the high percentage of international students.

    Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your reply.


    Yours faithfully,




    (Name)

  2. #2
    thod00 is offline Member
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    Re: Could someone please have a look at my "Statement of Purpose"? Running out of tim

    A law application! Shouldn't it be 'I wish to apply'.

    Where hereinafter 'I' refers to the party of the first part, the user 'Tessazzzz'.

    To 'apply' means, without prejudice, a request for admittance. Neither I nor the university shall be bound by this application and each agrees not to hold the other party responsible for any losses, direct or incidental, resulting from this application.

    Anyhow, back to your letter.

    with this letter I wish to apply for a study abroad spot at ....... University for the autumn semester, starting September 2009.
    Capital at the start of a sentence. When you say study abroad, is that the name of some program? if so then quote it. I would replace spot too

    With this letter I wish to apply for a 'study abroad' position at ....... University for the autumn semester, starting September 2009.

    I will finish the 4th year of my law degree at the University of Oslo in May, and wish to use the next semester studying abroad at .......... University. I would describe myself as a positive and outgoing girl. I like to be part of social happenings and other activities, at the moment I'm having a lot of fun putting together a cabaret show at my faculty along with a large group of other students. I also enjoy reading literature on in my spare time, and I work part time in a bookshop. I like to challenge myself in both my studies and my personal life, and I think a semester abroad would be both challenging and exiting, in addition to broadening my horizons.

    My reasons for choosing ........... are many, I have spent a lot of time looking for at information on your webpage, and the courses I have read about is are my main reason for applying. I am especially interested in gaining an insight into the legal thinking, doctrines and techniques of the Common Law system, as it is very different from the Civil Law-based system used in Norway, and I feel the best way to learn more about it is to study law in a country where it is used. I am also quite interested in you your courses in ....... and ........ I also like the small teaching groups and the international profile of the University. It makes it easier to learn, and to get to know the other students, which is are my two main goals for this semester abroad. As for the country itself I have always wanted to come to Australia because of the fantastic nature and animal life, but I have never before had the opportunity because of the long distance from Norway. This made my choice of both country and university easy.

    I'm not sure exactly what I want to do after I complete my law degree, but working for a big international corporation advising them on their legal affairs is something that seems really exciting, and I think a semester abroad will help me better understand the differences in law and culture across the world. This knowledge would be essential when working with legal advice in an international firm. A semester at ... would also be a wonderful chance to make friends and meet useful contacts from all over the world, because of the high percentage of international students.

    Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your reply.

  3. #3
    Tessazzz is offline Newbie
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    Re: Could someone please have a look at my "Statement of Purpose"? Running out of tim

    Thank you!

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