Just saw your post.
On my first "read-through" of your essay, it appears to me to be a good first draft for a statistical analysis that is intended to support the conclusion that you state in your final paragraph:
On the basis of this project in one of the language institues among 20 Iranian girls, IELTS on "use of language" would not work if students didn't use the second language correctly. So it had better be improved. A bit about me: I am an English and math teacher from Boston, Massachusetts (USA). I also have experience in writing statistical analyses. I would be willing to help you edit your draft via posts to this thread, but before I begin to help you here, would you first be willing to provide me with some answers to questions that will help me to help you?
Here are my questions:
-Why are you writing this essay? -for example: Is it a writing assignment for a course of study in school? If so, what course of study?Again, your answers to these questions will help me to key in on your exact expectations and needs.
- If it is a school assignment, would you be willing to share the written specifications for the assignment with me here in these posts?
- If it is a school assignment, what, if any, restrictions might be placed upon you by your teacher / professor about the kind of assistance you may receive?
- Who is your intended audience? If it's not a school writing assignment could you please be as specific as possible about the intended reviewing audience?
- When is your essay due for review?
- All the best