Originally Posted by taghavi
First, thanks for being so patient for my return post to you here. As you have probably seen by reviewing the last few posts, I experienced some technical difficulties that prevented me from accessing this thread last night. I hope that the delay that has resulted in my posting back to you here a -- a day later than promised -- has not inconvenienced you.
Next, I thought that I should let you know that I do not at all consider your post to be a request for anyone "to do your homework." From the replies that you supplied to my initial questions in our previous exchanges to this thread, I have no reason to consider your request for assistance to be anything but genuine. Teaching someone how to write more effectively often requires the teacher to "mark up" the student's writing with suggested corrections. I have always found that this increases the student's ability to understand his / her errors and thus improve their writing skills.
Having gotten that out of the way, let's proceed to the task at hand:
May I suggest that you consider two general steps in your current drafting process: (1) editing and (2) revising.
Editing is the simpler of the two drafting processes, as it consists of correcting typos, misspellings, punctuation, grammar and usage, etc. Revising is definitely a more involved part of the drafting process, as it calls upon judgments concerning (among other things) sentence and paragraph structure and organization, as well as the writer's own unique style.
In your particular case, especially given the brevity of your writing sample, I don't foresee your draft requiring extensive revisions. Nonetheless, for the purpose of orderliness in the process, I would like to focus on just the editing aspects here. After you have reviewed the corrections that I have suggested below, you may wish then to focus upon revisions that will bring you to a finished piece.
Below is a marked up copy of your initial post with corrections. By comparing the colored marked-up text with your original, you should be able to understand why I have suggested these edits. If you have any specific questions regarding any of these suggested corrections, then by all means please post back to this thread.
One further comment: The phrases or sentences that I have italicized are in need of revision. Please make an attempt to rewrite them so that your intent is clear.
Good luck to you Leila!
There are many language institutes in Iran that are teaching English using International English Language Testing System (IELTS), which consists of writing, reading, listening, use of English and speaking. My article focuses on the use of English, which has pulled through information during a term from one of the language institutes. And according this project students fell into speaking and listening.
The class reviewed for this article consisted of 20 girls between the ages of 15 -18. During the first term, they could speak English fluently and accurately. They could talk about their normal and daily activities. Their listening was also fair. Fourteen students (one student, age 15; seven students, ages 16 – 17; six students, age 18), answered correctly 20 multiple choice listening items out of 30. Six students (two students, age 15; three students, age 16; one student, age 18), answered between 10 to 15 of these multiple choice listening items correctly).
Students were supposed to do their homework, which consisted of either fill-in-the-blank or matching exercises, and which had been selected from materials and handbooks. And the teacher managed the class in what 4 or 5 copies of the materials and asked the students during the class.
After three months, the speed of these students’ speaking and listening came into the low level, but they could speak accurately. They were supposed to answer a listening multiple choice test consisting of 30 items, in which seven students (three students, age 15; one student, age 16; one student, age 17; three students, age 18) answered 16 questions correctly. Ten students (two students, age 15; two students, age 16; six students, age 18), answered correctly 11 items.