Originally Posted by semirus
Perhaps I should have been clearer about the intent of my previous post to you in this thread. Seeing that I wasn't, let me do this now:
Your initial post asked for a proofread of your movie review, and, as you can see, my post went beyond a mere proofread. Why? -After a quick review of the First Certificate of English (FCE) Handbook for Teachers, I thought that you would benefit more from a written model rather than a mere proofread.
Please take a moment to read this brief description from the FCE web site. As you do, try to find one key phrase that will increase your understanding of the FCE's criteria for assessment:
FCE is an exam for people who can use everyday written and spoken English at an upper-intermediate level. It is an ideal exam for people who want to use English for work or study purposes.I hope that the key phrase for you here is upper-intermediate level. If that was a key phrase for you, bravo! If not, then may I suggest that you make it your key phrase for focus from now on.
Next, please read through the specific criteria that FCE will use in order to assess your writing skills:
Candidates are expected to write non-specialised text types such as an article, an essay, a letter, an email, a report, a review, or a short story, with a focus on advising, apologising, comparing, describing, explaining, expressing opinions, justifying, persuading, recommending, suggesting.The non-specialised text type that you chose for practice and posted above is, of course, a movie review. Good choice -- as it is one of the test categories the FCE writing assessment criteria cites.
At an upper-intermediate level, your writing will, of course, be expected to conform to writing conventions (i.e., correct spellings & punctuations, correct grammar, good sentence structure, etc.). And the review you've written demonstrates a good command of these things. (By the way, the post by Searching for language contains mark-ups that will help you to bring the movie review that you wrote up to the standards of accepted writing conventions.)
Now, please take a look at the key writing skills that FCE looks to assess:
advising, apologising, comparing, describing, explaining, expressing opinions, justifying, persuading, recommending, suggestingIt is this list of criteria that prompted me to write a model for you rather than a mere mark-up of your text. Practicing effectively for your FCE exam will mean a greater focus upon the above list of skills. The more that you practice these skills, the better your performance on the written portion of the FCE exam will be.
Please understand that my comments here to you are intended solely for the purpose of helping you to improve your writing skills -- especially in anticipation of your performance on the FCE exam.
If you are interested, I can provide further details for you here in this thread about how the model I created for your review might help you in this regard.
Best of luck to you!