Results 1 to 4 of 4

    • Join Date: Feb 2009
    • Posts: 5
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Need help with thesis statement

    The assignment is to right a cause and effect essay. This is what I have came up with as my first paragraph. Can someone lookover it and give advice. Is the thesis correct, does it have propper grammer? I am also open to any other advice.


    When asked as a child what I wanted to be when I grow up I was always quick to respond “I want to be a teacher” The question not asked was why I wanted to become a teacher. I want to become a teacher because, it will give me a filling of accomplishment, I will be setting a great example for my own children and be able to positively affect the lives of so many other children.

    This part would be the thesis If I'm correct. " I want to become a teacher because, it will give me a filling of accomplishment, I will be setting a great example for my own children and be able to positively affect the lives of so many other children."


    • Join Date: Feb 2009
    • Posts: 365
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Need help with thesis statement

    I am not sure that you are fulfilling the requirements of the assignment. The subject was a 'cause and effect' essay. To me, that means you write about some event, the 'cause', and the consequences, the 'effect'.

    For example I could write about I lost my job, the cause. Then I could go on to say how this made me move to a new town and make new friends there, the effect.


    • Join Date: Feb 2009
    • Posts: 5
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Need help with thesis statement

    Yes I did go about it wrong. I final got to talk with my teacher lastnight and got things cleared up. Thanks for the help.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 1,316
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Need help with thesis statement

    Quote Originally Posted by FullofQuestions View Post
    The assignment is to write a cause-and-effect essay. This is what I have come up with as my first paragraph. Can someone look it over and give advice? Is the thesis correct? Does it have proper grammar? I am also open to any other advice.


    When asked as a child what I wanted to be when I grow up, I was always quick to respond, “I want to be a teacher.” The question not asked was why I wanted to become a teacher. I want to become a teacher becausex it will give me a feeling of accomplishment. I will be setting a great example for my own children and be able to positively affect the lives of so many other children.

    This part would be the thesis, if I'm correct: "I want to become a teacher becausex it will give me a feeling of accomplishment. I will be setting a great example for my own children and be able to positively affect the lives of so many other children."
    First, congratulations on using affect correctly!

    Second, Thod is right, there's no cause or effect. You weren't doing the assignment. It's good you talked with your teacher.

    To answer your question about thesis statements:

    The sentence "I want to become...." is a thesis statement. The next sentence, "I will be setting...," is an argument supporting your thesis.

    [I edit copy and have tutored college writing.]

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Mar-2008, 00:01
  2. Thesis statement
    By Noego in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-Oct-2007, 09:25
  3. Thesis statement
    By HaraKiriBlade in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-Feb-2007, 06:19
  4. Thesis Statement...
    By Alsark in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 17-Feb-2006, 21:49
  5. the thesis statement
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 29-Jun-2004, 00:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •