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  1. #1
    jah22 is offline Newbie
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    Unhappy conclusion/ every thing.

    In the course of working my way through school, I have taken many jobs. My job as a security officer was the most excellent job I have ever had. First, it really helped me with school. When every I had home work, I took the work with me so I could do it there while I am working. The job was so easy I still had time to do my school work. On top of that, I enjoyed being a security officer. I enjoyed the job because it had a long brake time in it. Besides that, I also got to meet so many new people. Did I mention that is where I met my girl friend? In addition, I get paid a decent amount of money every week, which made my job more enjoyable. On the other hand, I really thought being an officer was chilly . for example, when I got to wear a suit every day , which I didn’t do very often , for me that was splendid. To be brief, my job as an officer was time sufficient and beniffecial in ways.
    Last edited by jah22; 28-Feb-2009 at 19:11. Reason: is this paragraph bad or good?

  2. #2
    Searching for language is offline Senior Member
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    Re: conclusion/ every thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by jah22 View Post
    In the course of working my way through school, I have taken many jobs. My job as a security officer was the most excellent job I have ever had. First, it really helped me with school.
    When every Whenever I had home work homework, I took the work it with me so I could do it there while I am was working. The job was so easy I still had time to do my school work. On top of that, I enjoyed being a security officer. I enjoyed the job because it had a long brake break time in it. Besides that, I also got to meet so many new people. Did I mention that is where I met my girl friend? In addition, I get got or was paid a decent amount of money every week, which made my job more enjoyable. On the other hand, I really thought that being an officer was chilly (I think here you really mean cool.......... chilly is feeling cold because of the temperature.). For example, when I got to wear a suit every day , which I didnít don't do very often. For me that was splendid (This is o.k, but could be exciting also). To be brief, my job as an officer was time sufficient and beniffecial in ways. (I don't know what you mean by this, other than possibly just saying this was beneficial in my studies.)
    The phrases marked in green are not necessary, try to use something a little more imaginative at the start of your sentences.

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