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  1. #1
    lauretta86 is offline Newbie
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    Default please correct my essay

    Ihad a lot of trouble writing it!

    this is the task:

    Your class has been discussing how individuals can help with some environmental issues today. Your teacher has now asked you to write an essay explaining what some of the issues are and suggesting possible ways in which individuals can help
    Essay:
    Many people think that there is no scope for making little improvements in their behaviours for the environmental benefit. Despite what these people believe there is a huge number of environmental issues that can be solved step by step thanks to individuals. In this Essay I will discuss two main behaviours that can make a difference for the future Earth: recycling and using ‘green’ vehicles such as bicycle and car pool.
    In the first place, recycling waste such as plastic, paper or aluminum cans reduces carbon dioxide and that means a reduction of global warming causes. There are different ways of recycling: not only making the recycling program of your town or school, but also using papers and glass more times before wasting them. It is often said that recycling programs is only a drop in the ocean because that too few people participate, however this project was created just few years ago and an increasing sensibility, with the aim of social advertisement, has been seen in the last years.
    In the second place, going to work sharing a car (commonly known as car-pool) or with the bicycle or with trains will lead to a reduction of pollution. Although a number of people think that these are uncomfortable ways of travel, nowadays car pooling is becoming very popular because it provides not only environmental but also economical benefit.
    From my point of view it is only laziness when people refuse to make just this simple changements in their life. We must look to next generation and not leave them a destructed planet . In my opinion individuals’ actions can make a difference.
    thank you very much!!

  2. #2
    nlgarcia is offline Newbie
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    Smile Re: please correct my essay

    Your essay is wonderful and very interesting. I have a few suggestions on how to improve it:

    Many people think that there is no scope (i know there is an Italian word "scopo" that means purpose, but scope in english doesn´t mean purpose. A better word to use here would be purpose or benefit) for making little improvements in their behaviours for the environmental benefit. Despite what these people believe there is(use are instead of is) a huge number of environmental issues that can be solved step by step thanks to individuals. In this Essay I will discuss two main behaviours that can make a difference for the future Earth: recycling and using ‘green’ vehicles such as bicycle and car pool (It would be more appropriate if you saved the specific examples for later in the essay. So here you could say "recycling and using "green" means of transportation.).
    In the first place, recycling waste such as plastic, paper or aluminum cans reduces carbon dioxide and that means a reduction of global warming causes. There are different ways of recycling: not only making the recycling program of your town or school, but also using papers and glass more times before wasting them. It is often said that recycling programs is(use are instead of is) only a drop in the ocean because that detele "that") too few people participate, however this project was created just few years ago and an increasing sensibility (a better word to use here could be "awareness" or response", with the aim of social advertisement, has been seen in the last years.
    In the second place, going to work sharing a car (commonly known as car-pool) or with the bicycle or with trains will lead to a reduction of pollution. Although a number of people think that these are uncomfortable ways of travel, nowadays car pooling is becoming very popular because it provides not only environmental but also economical benefit.
    From my point of view it is only laziness ("indifference" could be a better word to use here. It fits in better with the tone of your essay.) when people refuse to make just this simple changements (the correct word is "changes" or "adjustments") in their life. We must look to next generation and not leave them a destructed planet . In my opinion individuals’ actions can make a difference.

  3. #3
    lauretta86 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: please correct my essay

    thank you so much! you have been so useful!

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: please correct my essay

    Quote Originally Posted by lauretta86 View Post
    Many people think that there is no scope for making little improvements in their behaviours for the environmental benefit.
    Many people think that there is no reason to make minor improvements in their behavior for the benefit of the environment.
    Quote Originally Posted by lauretta86 View Post
    We must look to next generation and not leave them a destructed planet.
    We must look to the next generation and not leave them a ruined planet.
    Quote Originally Posted by lauretta86 View Post
    In my opinion individuals’ actions can make a difference.
    In my opinion, individuals’ actions can make a meaningful difference.

  5. #5
    Searching for language is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: please correct my essay

    In the second place, going to work sharing a car (commonly known as car-pool) or with the bicycle or with trains will lead to a reduction of pollution.

    Sharing a car to get to work or anywhere else, is called car-pooling.

    I am not a teacher.

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: please correct my essay

    If more people would car pool or take the bus there would be less pollution.


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