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  1. #1
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    Could you correct my text please? Thank you...

    Family stories usually show some honourable values, honour memories and enrich our respective lives with their lessons given in metaphor form . The next one happened to my father during his childhood, an event which changed his vision of life forever and ever.
    My father was born in Saint-François-Xavier-de-Viger from a love-struck couple who were already blessed with a child named Mario. However, that boy didn't spring from that immortal love which existed between those two young human beings. In fact, he was adopted from a poor single-parent mother, who already brought four children into the world, by Thérèse and Léonard. Shortly afterwards appeared in that familiar scene another kid, Yves, who quickly became Martin's playmate because of the important age difference separating Mario and Martin. Every day and every night, they lived side by side and those two brothers shared their life experiences, their deeper secrets too.

    Years went by and led them into the seventies. It was the ten speeds bike era. Every child wanted one of those marvellous machines, but only the luckiest ones would get it. By the time being, the majority of my father's friends got that kind of bike for their respective birthdays. Consequently, it was written in black and white in the sky that Martin would hope to have one in no time to not be rejected from his clique. However, the bike was not dirt cheap! That was why Martin didn't expect his wish to come true. To his surprise, his parents gave him that desired object after all.
    According to my father, it was the most beautiful and useful thing that our planet had ever carried. The red paint which covered that bike shined under that blistering summer sun. Almost immediately, Yves asked Martin to try his new toy for a little ride in the neighbourhood. Because his little brother was his closest friend, Martin accepted that deal and saw Yves
    pedaled (peddle) away on his famous machine. He seemed so happy to do such an unpretentious activity.

    Hours went by, and Yves hadn't returned yet. Thérèse grew more and more anxious. Martin got the burden, from his own father, to search through the neighbourhood to find his missing brother. Laid on the road on the corner of the main street, Yves was. My father rushed up towards him and realised that he would from that day forth not have a little brother anymore. The authorities have never discovered the reckless driver responsible of Yves' dead. But, my father will never forget that scene and the guilt he has felt because he agreed to share his new bike to his dear brother.

    Following my father's account, I was moved deeply and I promised that I would soak up every single day in memory of my dead uncle, Yves.

  2. #2
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    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Correction of a text

    You can do better. I suggest that you delete these new threads and post any revised texts on the threads where the stories originally appeared.


  3. #3
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    Default Re: Correction of a text

    Ok, thank for this information. For the time being, I really need help... could you help my to correct my text please. I need it today...Thank you...

  4. #4
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    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Correction of a text

    Quote Originally Posted by EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead View Post
    Family stories usually illustrate some honourable values, honour memories and enrich our respective lives with their lessons given in metaphor form.
    Quote Originally Posted by EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead View Post
    The next one happened to my father during his childhood, an event which changed his vision of life forever and ever.

    Delete that.

    Do you think you can come up with some revisions on your own?

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