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  1. #1
    yasmin262 is offline Newbie
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    Default may somebody could have a look 1

    Although many people think that real life begins with starting a family, having kids and working in the first important job, I prefer thinking that the years at college are one of the most important years of my life for three main reasons:
    First a person learns a lot about itself, about its future plans and dreams and how to reach them. In college the people decide about where to start their professional career. I think that is a mayor point in a personís life.
    My second point for choosing the college years as the best time of oneís life is because of all the people a person meets. Friendships are built, which will mostly last for the rest of the life, because a person shares some important parts and years of their life together.
    My last but not least point is that the years at college are one of the few years in the process of growing up, that a person can still live without such pressure which overcomes persons by entering at the university or by starting a family and having kids. It is important to have ones aims but there is plenty of time to relax, party with friends and join life as a young person.
    My college years will always stay in my memory because of the friends I found, who are still my best friends, no matter the distances between us. Even when we are in different countries there is an invisible connection which till today is inseparable. Furthermore I will never forget the parties we celebrated and the vacations we made. Another very important part of my college time was the year when I lived in a foreign country. My college supported this, so that I could gain a lot of experience which also helped me to find out about my future career plans. In conclusion I would say, that the years on college form your personality mainly and that everyone should join this time of the life, because it will be over too fast.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: may somebody could have a look 1

    Although many people think that real life begins with starting a family, having kids and working in the first important job, I prefer thinking that the years at college are one of the most important years of my life for three main reasons:

    Although many people thinkbelieve that real life begins with

    starting a family, having kids and working in the first important job, I prefer

    'starting a family' means 'having kids'. Also, wouldn't working in the first important job (as opposed to the jobs you might do to help with college expenses) be a prerequisite for having a family, and be first in the list. Even so, you are referring to a point in time at which 'real life begins', but give two (if not three) points in time.
    Perhaps it would be better to write:
    Although many people believe that real life begins with working in the first important job, or starting a family, I...


    prefer thinking consider that the

    years at college are one of the most important years of my life
    'years' (at college) cannot be 'one of the most important years'
    Even so, that is not what the reader thinks your 'thesis' is about. Most people would agree that college years were an important period in their life, but your opening sentence seems to suggest you will be arguing that ' real life begins' at college, not that a person's time at college is 'one of the most important...'. In the second paragraph it changes to "the best time of your life" as opposed to what some people might regard as 'the real beginning of one's life'; and in the next, "of living without pressure". That, then, would be a continuation of 'childhood', rather than 'real life begins'
    Are you in fact, talking about 'real life'; or a time when one really begins to experience a sense of freedom and being regarded as an adult; or 'life begins in earnest' when you have the responsibility of a job and kids to support?
    Last edited by David L.; 15-Mar-2009 at 14:28.

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