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  1. #1
    jaokha is offline Newbie
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    Unhappy Help me correcting this text if you please

    At the age of seven he accidentally killed his handicapped older brother, Vernon, who is undeserved by reprimand (rebuke),loathed by everyone in family. After Venon died become the parents’ upset, sad, relive and frustration and in the same time become Anwell disgusted, unforgivable and some time tormented by his family and people in town but Finnigan. Finnigan is a dangerous, wild, unkempt and mysterious boy who lives in the hills beyond town. The two make a pact that from now on, they will be each other’s reflection: Finnigan will do just bad things that Anwell wants to do but can’t and Anwell , adopted himself to Gabriel, will do only good things but ill , and this calls Gabriel for his surrender. To gather they make plans and share secrets each other. Gabriel has collect many small hates against the townspeople and several years later when fire grips his town so suspect Gabriel Fannigan as an arsonist without knowing that his own father is behind these arsons. The more each passing day, the less relationship between them. Surrender, Gabriel’s dog which both Gabriel and Fannigan do love it very much, has been thief and robber lately after hanging with Fannigan so Gabriel forced to kill it to stop Fannigan’s sprit in its blood.
    Last edited by jaokha; 17-Mar-2009 at 00:12.

  2. #2
    jaokha is offline Newbie
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    Re: Help me correcting this text if you please

    Could you also correcting this ,too, if you have the energy to.
    The book is a little hard to understand at first because many words are newly for me but it amazes me when I understand what every word she written means. Her describing is masterly and the fact is short but also hides answers of the book.




    The plot and the vocabulary are complex and many hint at things such as Gabriel killed his brother. This book is about fury, grief, lifelessness, failed bargain, dramatic, heartbreaking, and worrying, suspense and thriller. Surrender is some kind of book that many questions often raise while reading and the readers have a lot of thinking about ending. The book is slowly reveals more details about Gabriel’s past and his horrifying secrets and keep you guessing until the very end then leaves many unanswered questions. The most interesting question is does Finniga and Gabriel exist or just each other’s imagination. The author seems capable for writing book about damaged children and make me feel extremely impressed, love them ,understand them and especially at the climax will also readers feel sorry for them.
    I would recommend Surrender to high- schooler who fancies a dark, horrible and psychological thriller novel. I would rate 8/10.
    Last edited by jaokha; 17-Mar-2009 at 00:12.

  3. #3
    jaokha is offline Newbie
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    Re: Help me correcting this text if you please

    please

  4. #4
    jaokha is offline Newbie
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    Re: Help me correcting this text if you please


  5. #5
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Help me correcting this text if you please

    Quote Originally Posted by jaokha View Post
    At the age of seven he accidentally killed his handicapped older brother, Vernon, who is undeserved by reprimand (rebuke),loathed by everyone in family. After Venon died become the parentsí upset, sad, relive and frustration and in the same time become Anwell disgusted, unforgivable and some time tormented by his family and people in town but Finnigan. Finnigan is a dangerous, wild, unkempt and mysterious boy who lives in the hills beyond town. The two make a pact that from now on, they will be each otherís reflection: Finnigan will do just bad things that Anwell wants to do but canít and Anwell , adopted himself to Gabriel, will do only good things but ill , and this calls Gabriel for his surrender. To gather they make plans and share secrets each other. Gabriel has collect many small hates against the townspeople and several years later when fire grips his town so suspect Gabriel Fannigan as an arsonist without knowing that his own father is behind these arsons. The more each passing day, the less relationship between them. Surrender, Gabrielís dog which both Gabriel and Fannigan do love it very much, has been thief and robber lately after hanging with Fannigan so Gabriel forced to kill it to stop Fanniganís sprit in its blood.
    In the first sentence, who kills who? Is Vernon the killer or the victim?

  6. #6
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Help me correcting this text if you please

    Quote Originally Posted by jaokha View Post
    Could you also correcting this ,too, if you have the energy to.
    The book is a little hard to understand at first because many words are new to me but it amazes me when I understand what every word she written means. Her writing is masterly and the fact is short but also hides answers of the book. [[whose writing ??=- state the person]]




    The plot and the vocabulary are complex and they hint at things such as Gabriel killing his brother. This book is about fury, grief, lifelessness, failed bargain, dramatic, heartbreaking, and worrying, suspense and thriller. Surrender is the kind of book that raises many questions and its readers have a lot of thinking about ending. The book slowly reveals more details about Gabrielís past and his horrifying secrets and keep you guessing until the very end, but then leaves many unanswered questions. The most interesting question is do Finnigan and Gabriel exist or are they figments of each otherís imagination. The author seems capable of writing a book about damaged children and made me feel extremely impressed, love them, understand them and especially at the climax feel sorry for them.
    I would recommend Surrender to any high-schooler who fancies a dark, horrible and psychological thriller novel. I would rate it as 8/10.
    ..

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